Hi guys
I have been absent from this board for awhile and i think the main reason is my complacency.
I should really already know that if you are not constantly moving upwards its inevitable that the fall is around the bend...and i fell last night to masturbation after 5 'clean' months, and i say clean months in inverted commas, because to be honest even though i didn't masturbate i was peeking and cheating and finding loop holes in my taphsik contract..and feeding my lust and then starving it etc etc.
So it hit me who am i fooling? Only myself.. I am the one who losses out from this all. . . There is only truly one way to keep clean in the long term and that is to completely stop looking for loop holes and change the mindset, that this lustful stuff is just not for me anymore no thanks and only then with this realization will i be successful to vanquish the lust from inside me.
Happy to hear some chizuk and tips from my friends out there.

Welcome (back)!

To many people, it's often the first slip that does us in ("just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, we need to avoid the first slip").

Many times we feel, "I looked away, but maybe I waited a drop longer than I had to". Then the Yetzer Hara makes us feel guilty when we’ve done nothing wrong at all, and that can lead to further slips and falls. The "three-second rule" recognizes that it may take a second or two to realize that something is amiss, and only then are we expected to look away.

Essentially, the pain we feel when not looking is much better than the pain of looking! And as they say  “No situation can be bad enough that a little lusting won’t make it worse”.

Keep strong and please stay connected 

Are you reading or listening to the daily boosts?  That’s a great start for ongoing maintenance.

90days4ever wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:37:

It takes many people so long to reach the awareness you reached! For some people it’s after 5 years of loophole to filter to this contract to this shvuah! For you it’s been 5 months! That’s amazing. Use this step as a new step to life! Once you realize this your now a smart fighter! Your no longer fighting yourself! So many people Act on contracts and then 5 days later saying oh this stuff is amazing how can I undo my contract and not pay!! Wooohoooo I found a loophole! Then we act out! Oh only partially so I don’t need to pay! And then I feel guilty so I block the loophole with an additional fee! And then 5 days later I’m on my search for a new loophole! Woohooo. Or for some it’s oops my filter failed! I need to block this next time! In my opinion it’s silly. It’s called the lazy way to fighting and the losing battle. I wouldn’t even call it a fight against porn and that kind of stuff I would call it a fight with themselves. Don’t get me wrong I have a contract myself! But we need a lot more inner work on top of that! And congratulations you are there!!! Keep it uppppp!!!!!!

Speaking this over with real people helps one rewire their thinking about sexuality/lust/etc. Find a rebbi, mentor, or GYE chaver to start the process. This mehalech has saved many many guys b'ezras Hashem. Hatzlocha!