Day One thousand one hundred sixty six:
I am struggling with fantasy today after being exposed to immodesty at work. I am very much desiring to plunge back into my old ways right now despite the destruction that they bring. Yes, that is correct. After 1166 days clean, the addiction to lust is still there, just dormant and ready to rise at a moment's notice.
Thankfully, I have now long realized that the addiction to lust and fantasy is a chronic medical disease no different from alcohol use disorder and that I must compassionately focus on this entity as the chronic disease it is instead of flogging myself for craving lust or reverting in action to that substance of abuse, which would only strengthen the disease process.
I will move my mind on to other things now as, thank G-d, I have many productive things to do in my life. I will not wallow around in misery. I am a ben Torah with a chronic disease. I will do Ratzon Hashem regardless.
Hatzlocho to my brothers also working day by day to put, and keep, their addictions in remission.