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Day 120

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: Day 120 4461 Views

Re: Day 120 19 Nov 2024 00:23 #425321

5uu80*cdwb#^
Current streak: 10 days
OFFLINE
Gold Boarder
Posts: 183

Day One thousand one hundred sixty six:
I am struggling with fantasy today after being exposed to immodesty at work. I am very much desiring to plunge back into my old ways right now despite the destruction that they bring. Yes, that is correct. After 1166 days clean, the addiction to lust is still there, just dormant and ready to rise at a moment's notice.
Thankfully, I have now long realized that the addiction to lust and fantasy is a chronic medical disease no different from alcohol use disorder and that I must compassionately focus on this entity as the chronic disease it is instead of flogging myself for craving lust or reverting in action to that substance of abuse, which would only strengthen the disease process.
I will move my mind on to other things now as, thank G-d, I have many productive things to do in my life. I will not wallow around in misery. I am a ben Torah with a chronic disease. I will do Ratzon Hashem regardless.
Hatzlocho to my brothers also working day by day to put, and keep, their addictions in remission.

If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.

Last Edit: 19 Nov 2024 00:24 by 5uu80*cdwb#^.

Re: Day 120 19 Nov 2024 02:08 #425333

chaimoigen Current streak: 802 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1650 Karma: 161	You are a grizzled gladiator. You will rise, triumphant, because you have the tools, motivation and means to fight it. Hang on.
	Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen

Re: Day 120 10 Jul 2025 10:24 #438688

5uu80*cdwb#^ Current streak: 10 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 183	Good morning. Day 1400 ---> Day 0. Had two falls over night. I begin again, now. I won't give up. I know what happened. Anger --> fantasy --> falls. It's always fantasy. Addiction is a chronic disease. I will not despair. Hashem loves me. I need to reflect on that constantly. Have a good day.
	If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.

Re: Day 120 10 Jul 2025 11:04 #438689

chaimoigen
Current streak: 802 days
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1650
Karma: 161

5uu80*cdwb#^ wrote on 10 Jul 2025 10:24:

Good morning.

Day 1400 ---> Day 0.

Had two falls over night.

I begin again, now.

I won't give up. I know what happened. Anger --> fantasy --> falls.

It's always fantasy. Addiction is a chronic disease.

I will not despair. Hashem loves me. I need to reflect on that constantly.

Have a good day.

Here’s a warm hand.
You have been, and continue to be an inspiration and source of Chizzuk for me. I’ve learned a lot from you, and so continue.
General, I salute you.

You have NOT lost your accomplishments and days, your growth and change, your fortitude and strength. Please hang tight and keep going.

Youre a great man,
Chaim Oigen

Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen

Last Edit: 10 Jul 2025 11:06 by chaimoigen.

Re: Day 120 13 Jul 2025 03:21 #438789

5uu80*cdwb#^ Current streak: 10 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 183	Gut voch! Day 3! Back on course.
	If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing. Last Edit: 13 Jul 2025 03:21 by 5uu80*cdwb#^.

Re: Day 120 13 Jul 2025 04:14 #438795

lamaazavtuni Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 312 Karma: 12	I can't imagine your pain ...falling after so so long You seem strong !! hatslacha !! hugs!!
	Lifes short.... cover ground before ground covers you

Re: Day 120 20 Jul 2025 15:43 #439166

5uu80*cdwb#^ Current streak: 10 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 183	Had two more falls back-to-back after my last post but got back up again and won a MAJOR battle last night. Now on day 7. Veiter!
	If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing. Last Edit: 20 Jul 2025 15:44 by 5uu80*cdwb#^.

Re: Day 120 23 Jul 2025 01:06 #439284

5uu80*cdwb#^ Current streak: 10 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 183	Proud to report another win just now. Have a great night, everyone!
	If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.

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