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I Fell After 224 days
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: I Fell After 224 days 500 Views

Re: I Fell After 224 days 28 Jul 2021 06:25 #371264

  • withgdthereshope
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Captain wrote on 28 Jul 2021 01:18:

withgdthereshope wrote on 28 Jul 2021 00:00:
(Gave some Karma - not sure if that does anything though

Thanks! Much appreciated

RE your first point, this is maybe the most critical concept that I work within a professional setting. Seeing our feelings as our body's responses instead of what I AM changes so much—a lot to say on this. 

Today was a really tough day. Felt depressed, and it brought me back to some real dark days. Sometimes I just can't even rationalize and just need to put some space between me and everything else while giving the mind some space to work through things.
I'm looking forward to reading what you referenced when I have the emotional energy to look at it.

RE lust, that's an excellent point, and it's well taken. (It also reminds me of what Chazal say about the Yetzer Harah starting small and building up. It couldn't win by going direct to pornography, so it went step by step until it broke me down.)

I intended to bring out your second point, though. I meant that this fall had opened my eyes to the idea that even in my bedroom life, I've been looking for lust, and my mind has focused on lust. In my 224 days, I haven't actually addressed the lust part. I think that starting to address that would help that I'm not moving down the road of lust with the “smaller things” and help build a life of healthy intimacy which hopefully will turn around my marriage struggles as well. Your way of dealing with it has been the key to this whole 224 days of success.

And re posting, I have really got to do it more!

Re: I Fell After 224 days 28 Jul 2021 12:52 #371268

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Thanks! We really appreciate your insight, and we know you have much to give from your own experiences as well as the learning you have done and others' experiences you have seen as a therapist.
We're looking forward to hearing more!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: I Fell After 224 days 28 Jul 2021 13:24 #371272

  • HappyYid
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withgdthereshope wrote on 27 Jul 2021 23:40:

Striving Avreich wrote on 27 Jul 2021 09:38:
Regarding a filter, Techloq is by far the best for windows computers

I find them extremely difficult to use with so much being blocked that shouldn't be. Last night I downloaded Netspark because I didn't want to leave the computer unfiltered. Any thoughts on how good they are?

I actually find Techloq to be a great filter. They are very customizable; if too many things are blocked you could just customize it the way you want it.
You could block categories or websites, and also have a schedule when you want certain things blocked or not. 

Highly recommend.

Here and there there are random things blocked but for the most part they are on target with what I want open.
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: I Fell After 224 days 28 Jul 2021 14:27 #371275

  • Striving Avreich
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withgdthereshope wrote on 27 Jul 2021 23:40:

Striving Avreich wrote on 27 Jul 2021 09:38:
Regarding a filter, Techloq is by far the best for windows computers

I find them extremely difficult to use with so much being blocked that shouldn't be. Last night I downloaded Netspark because I didn't want to leave the computer unfiltered. Any thoughts on how good they are?

It is probably because of the default settings. The filters are very customizable (Techloq probably the most), but it has to be done properly. This is one of the major advantages of TAG. You go there and the technician works through all of the categories, you try your regular websites etc. and see what needs to be changed.

I would suggest going to you local TAG office and having them work with you on what ever filter you get.

Netspark is also good, but the techloq support is by far better, 24/6 block page support and better image and youtube filtering

Re: I Fell After 224 days 06 Aug 2021 21:38 #371492

  • withgdthereshope
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Back to ten days, and it feels like this time it's a stronger level than the original 224 days. Working on being okay without lust and it's making a huge difference. Thank you, everyone, for the Chizuk and help.

Re: I Fell After 224 days 22 Aug 2021 13:50 #371796

  • Captain
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Hey, how's it going?
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: I Fell After 224 days 14 Sep 2021 01:45 #372420

  • OivedElokim
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How are you doing buddy?
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: I Fell After 224 days 14 Sep 2021 03:33 #372422

  • withgdthereshope
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OivedElokim wrote on 14 Sep 2021 01:45:
How are you doing buddy?

To you and captain, thank you for asking. I'm doing as good as I've ever been plus plus Halevai Vaitor. That fall (if I can say it) was the best thing because it taught me so much and helped me become something I wouldn't have been without it. Davening that it will continue. Yitzro Shel Adam Misgaber Alav Bchol Yom Vilmulei HKBH ozro eino yachol lo
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