Grant400 wrote on 07 May 2021 13:42:
military613 wrote on 07 May 2021 08:53:
I don't find my wife attractive anymore.
I don't think this
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/point_up2.png)
has anything to do with this
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/point_down.png)
.
Pregnant
Not wearing any makeup at home
Please help me
When you are ready to work on the real problem then we can discuss real options.
Maybe I was not clear and a little harsh. Let me explain my point.
Before I do, I just want to say that I am not speaking from experiencing your exact situation. Just sharing what I learned from being around here. (Although no matter how pretty a wife is there is always going to be a prettier one somewhere at some point, so technically it applies to everyone, but obviously not on the level you are describing. )
Sometimes we exacerbate the issue when we are entrenched in the world of internet. Seeing woman that are the stuff of dreams (yes, I am referring to nightmares) engaging in the stuff of dreams (dreams - because it ain't real. Never was, never will be) and then comparing and contrasting them to our poor wives, highlights the flaws or imperfections that are there.
Meaning, yes many wives are not the prettiest in the neighborhood, many aren't like they initially were, but when one loves a person in a real and not just superficial way, like we love our wives, (if not then there are bigger issues at play) those feelings shouldn't make a difference. It doesn't mean to bury our head in the sand and deny facts, it just means that we don't care, because it doesn't effect true love. (Obviously this is a level and understanding that isn't reached overnight, see WNGU's posts on this subject.)
But when joined with pornographic content, it trains us that it is entirely about physical beauty, and it constantly highlights the differences between the pieces of dirt on the screen and our loving wives, making appearance take a much higher value and play a bigger role than it would otherwise.
So instead of trying to remove these feelings and then to feel it possible to give up porn, it may work the opposite way. Give up garbage, and then we can start seeing our wives in the light they deserve.