i struggle sometimes with getting out of bed. i find myself masturbating before doing so. i think there is a verity of reasons as i am comfortable, i feel bad I'm getting up late and/or missing shachris. my wife isn't a great morning person and sometimes doesn't say the right thing to me. lots of excuses but i have found this to be a persistent problem. any ideas?

I have a similar issue although can't completely relate as my wife is nonexistent so not sure if shes a morning person.

I think in general bed is an easy place to masturbate because until you physically commit to getting out of bed and do so your mind is still wandering and isnt focused. 

I think what @thetimeisnow (pretty sure at least) does is a great idea - pays knas for each 15 min he sleeps in or something similar

Sorry for being crude....but I'll be crude:

How would you feel if your dear wife committed adultery (and in your bedroom at that...) every time she overslept and felt guilty?

Be loyal, my dear friend : )

IMG

Sorry IMG but I think there is no comparison.

1. The two posters who said they struggled did not mention that they watch porn they only mentioned masturbation. 
2. Even if they would c"v be watching porn, you could not compare that to someone committing adultery. 

That being said it's a struggle that needs to be fought (BTW not every fight will you win) & I don't want to minimize it in any way but again, it should not to be compared to extreme cases.

Regarding point # 1 -  While masturbating in the bedroom first thing in the morning is a bit "in her face," nonetheless I agree with you 100%....so my apologies for being too strong.

Regarding point # 2 - a mistress is a mistress is a mistress...(but even here - my comparison was not meant to be taken literally, as obviously the two cases are incomparable in degree)

​Was just making a powerful point which was helpful in my personal turnaround; if it was hurtful in a anyway, please disregard.

With friendship from Grodno ~ IMG

I B"H don't have that issue so I didn't take what you said in a bad way.

Either way you are great and I should learn from you to post more often.

img it was hurtful to me and i think to many who struggle. i dont come on here looking for musser. i could go on and on about the vast differences between the two. it seems that you don't want. But even if someone c"v was seeing someone other than his wife, the torah doesn't consider this adultery. in no way am i condoning such an act, but we cant take society's moral compass for anything these days. that is all i will say on the topic.
​meanwhile it still is a struggle for me first thing in the morning more than most times throughout the day. img is that a problem should i not have a struggle bc thats bad and evil?
thank you eved hashem for a real suggestion. Any others would be greatly appreciated.

easy wrote on 04 May 2021 11:56:

Hey there Easy. I feel like I should try to explain what went on here. You asked a question explaining that you had somewhat of an excuse and justification for your actions. To that, the talented IMG responded not with mussar, but rather as a myth buster to try and jolt you out of your "excuse". He wasn't chastising, he was trying to give you the clear vision of an outsider. Like they say, when in the frame one can't see the picture. 

Additionally, this is a public forum. People share what worked for them. Apparently this recognition and realization helped IMG. Take it or leave it. No reason to get insulted. He doesn't know you and you don't know him, all he's doing is taking some of his precious time and devoting it to help another yid. If you read his posts you can see he's not being judgmental at all. We are all in this together. 

Thank you Grant for somewhat explaining my position. But I don't care who is "right" if, at the end of the day, I hurt someone else....And I sincerely apologize for crossing the uncrossable line of onaas devarim.

easy, you are a ben aliyah who is struggling...and Hashem understands. Although He created the Torah system which provides us with objective rules and excuse-free expectations; the bottom line is that He is the one who wires us in the first place. So He surely "gets it." 

 I was (is?) a whole lot worse than you so I "get it" as well...And the fact that my "masturbation-is-tantamount-to-adultery" approach is somewhat working for me - in no way allows me to dump it on anyone else. (Read my past posts and you will see that I am certainly not the mussar guy on residence : ) Finally, please PM me if you want to shmuz. Perhaps we can both grow by contrasting our differing approaches; I promise you that we are way more similar than different...

As for eitzos, perhaps you can begin your day by talking to Hashem. Say modeh ani in English. Tell Him what you want, why you want it, and perhaps some ideas regarding how you imagine getting there. (If DW hears, she'll just think you're a bit strange...a small price to pay : )

Dear friend, I'm on your team 100% ~ IMG