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Ways to do Teshuva?
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TOPIC: Ways to do Teshuva? 338 Views

Ways to do Teshuva? 09 Mar 2021 03:04 #365050

  • Cesare
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Any specific Tehillim or study should I do for my actions?

Re: Ways to do Teshuva? 09 Mar 2021 03:16 #365051

  • grant400
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Welcome my friend! Try to stick to one thread, unless it's a totally separate topic and it doesn't apply to your journey. It's much easier for you, as well as others to be able to see the greater picture.

Re: Ways to do Teshuva? 09 Mar 2021 13:19 #365088

  • na18
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Perek 51 of tehillim 

Re: Ways to do Teshuva? 09 Mar 2021 14:51 #365098

  • davidt
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If a person wants to do teshuva, it's a god idea to schedule a set time for cheshbon hanefesh. For example, he should write on the calendar that next Tuesday at 10 pm, he will dedicate some time for this issue, by learning something pertaining to this nisayon or speaking to his Mentor etc.

He should allocate a fifteen minute slot, and then afterwards tell himself, “I did what I had to do, and now I’m done.” If a person does teshuvah at an appointed time, then it won’t drag him down into the mess. This is because when a person consciously sets a time for a cheshbon hanefesh, his mind is in charge, and when his mind is working clearly, he won’t slip up.

However, spontaneous thoughts of teshuvah, which surface right after a person did something wrong, are typically emotionally bound, and they can easily cause more harm than good. This is because when someone falls, he is in a negative mode, one in which he is upset and “beats himself up”, and when someone is in this kind of mood, he can’t think straight.

At the time that a fall happens, there is only one goal: to be meisi’ach da’as, keep moving, and get busy with something positive.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Ways to do Teshuva? 09 Mar 2021 19:01 #365114

  • oivedelokim
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Here is a relevant piece from Tanya chapter 26, related to what DavidT wrote:

 אך העצבות ממילי דשמיא, צריך לשית עצות בנפשו ליפטר ממנה: אין צריך לומר בשעת עבודה, שצריך לעבוד ה' בשמחה ובטוב לבב, אלא אפילו מי שהוא בעל עסקים ודרך ארץ, אם נופל לו עצב ודאגה ממילי דשמיא בשעת עסקיו, בידוע שהוא תחבולת היצר כדי להפילו אחר-כך בתאוות ח"ו, כנודע, שאם לא כן - מאין באה לו עצבות אמיתית מחמת אהבת ה' או יראתו באמצע עסקיו?! והנה, בין שנפלה לו העצבות בשעת עבודה בתלמוד תורה או בתפילה, ובין שנפלה לו שלא בשעת עבודה, זאת ישים אל לבו, כי אין הזמן גרמא כעת לעצבות אמיתית, אפילו לדאגת עונות חמורים ח"ו. רק לזאת צריך קביעות עתים ושעת הכושר בישוב הדעת, להתבונן בגדולת ה' אשר חטא לו, כדי שעל-ידי זה יהיה ליבו נשבר באמת, במרירות אמיתית, וכמבואר עת זו במקום אחר. ושם נתבאר גם-כן, כי מיד אחר שנשבר לבו בעתים קבועים ההם, אזי יסיר העצב מלבו לגמרי, ויאמין אמונה שלימה כי ה' העביר חטאתו ורב לסלוח, וזו היא השמחה האמיתית בה' הבאה אחר העצב, כנ"ל.
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: Ways to do Teshuva? 09 Mar 2021 19:49 #365117

DavidT wrote on 09 Mar 2021 14:51:
If a person wants to do teshuva, it's a god idea to schedule a set time for cheshbon hanefesh. For example, he should write on the calendar that next Tuesday at 10 pm, he will dedicate some time for this issue, by learning something pertaining to this nisayon or speaking to his Mentor etc.

He should allocate a fifteen minute slot, and then afterwards tell himself, “I did what I had to do, and now I’m done.” If a person does teshuvah at an appointed time, then it won’t drag him down into the mess. This is because when a person consciously sets a time for a cheshbon hanefesh, his mind is in charge, and when his mind is working clearly, he won’t slip up.

However, spontaneous thoughts of teshuvah, which surface right after a person did something wrong, are typically emotionally bound, and they can easily cause more harm than good. This is because when someone falls, he is in a negative mode, one in which he is upset and “beats himself up”, and when someone is in this kind of mood, he can’t think straight.

At the time that a fall happens, there is only one goal: to be meisi’ach da’as, keep moving, and get busy with something positive.

This is excellent advice! As a chronic beating myself upper, I can reallly relate to this unhelpful teshuvah. I think that setting a time for teshuvah actually empowers a person at the time of a fall not to be hard on himself, because he knows that he is going to address the aveirah at a later point. Thank you!
Last Edit: 09 Mar 2021 19:50 by hashemyeracheim613.
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