You have to ask yourself whether you should be defined as the person from 200 days or the person from 1 day. Shake it off buddy! You're doing great. This was a mistake but it doesn't define you.

Make sure to be ready for some stupidity from the yetzer hora, "oh my count will not change anyway so why not do it once more." Don't forget that counting days is just a gimmick but your real goal that's within you is each minute of success!

​Please be mechazek yourself at this vulnerable time and Hashem will surely help. (Please see my signature below for some things that can strengthen you and give you chizuk during this time.)

It is misguided to think that the entire goal of life is to not mess up. Had that been the case, Hashem would not have bothered to create us, and He definitely wouldn’t have created challenges. Rather, the proper perspective is the positive: that our goal in life is to accomplish, and that self-control is one of the greatest acts we can do. By cashing in on this opportunity, you can become a great person, and having sinned doesn’t take that away. Greatness is in your hands! Remember that not too many people actually resist strong urges just because they know they should. Most people who appear unaffected by desire either don’t face it to a strong extent or actually give in to their desires in private. 

If past sins that we no longer commit still gnaw at our conscience and make us feel down about ourselves, we must do a proper teshuva and move on. We must stop beating ourselves up, even if “that horrific sin” was our fault. Hashem created us knowing that we might make many bad mistakes. That is why He created teshuva. When you do teshuva, He forgives you and no longer holds your sin against you.

After repenting, we must no longer feel inferior for our wrongdoings. Instead, we should be proud that we admitted our mistakes and resolved not to repeat them. We should also take pride in the effort we invested to change despite the difficulty of kicking old habits. Past sins leave over powerful desires, and it takes constant vigilance to control them. This makes the accomplishment even greater.
Source: The Battle of the Generation.

Hi,



Recently, A thought has been haunting me, and Iam wondering if one can help me out here.

So, here goes. When I was a kid, dont remember the exact age. I had this guy who took me on his lap(in shul), and was tickling me, etc. Now, I don't remember the details,  it seems very vague. But I DO remember that it felt extremely good, and even nowadays when I think abt it, it still feels good.

Now, I never Recieved any love from my father, physically nor emotionally. So my question is: cud it be that I was abused by that guy and I just blocked it out? Or If that happened, Iwouldn't feel good abt it. And the reason I felt/feel good is cuz I got some male love..



Can anyone share their own experience or knowledge on this.



Thanks, 

Etc, was, schmoozing. That's all I can remember 

I do not know how to give a geder whether or not you were abused, but I don't see a reason to assume you were, based only on what you said. I would just say that often, the difference between an act of love or an act of abuse, is consent. For instance, sex can be an act of love and closeness, but without consent it can be greatly traumatic. Think of it as stealing the person's autonomous ability and choice to love. The abuser has hijacked the person's choice to connect with another, and took it for themselves. An important part of the love between a couple or even friends, is that they choose each other. With that choice removed, the essence of the person is partly gone. 
Someone tickling you can be exhilarating and would often be welcomed from a father, but not from a stranger if you are uncomfortable with it. I remember a much older cousin tickling me at shabbos meals, and when he would come over I would ask him to do it. My experience of it was pleasant and fun, and I chose it. Imagine going on a roller coaster- if you want to, it can be super exciting; if you weren't given a choice it can give you nightmares. I imagine same thing here. It is not necessarily the act itself which is abuse, but the way you feel about it.
I don't know if I am right; this is conjecture. Curious if it resonates.