cordnoy wrote on 29 Aug 2019 18:42:

It takes courage to post that buddy. You have been a tremendous inspiration to the chevra here and iyh will continue. I recently heard a drosho from Rav Ades from Eretz Yisroel where he said (in Hebrew) "In every aspect of Avodas Hashem there will be nefila. It's part of the process. Our avoda is to as quickly as possible get back up and move on". Keep on inspiring by showing us how to do exactly that!

cordnoy wrote on 29 Aug 2019 18:42:

Some make an  erroneous conclusion that if someone fell after years of sobriety, that means the program he was workin' must be a failure. That is incorrect. Firstly, maybe it wasn't for him. Secondly, maybe he didn't work it correctly. Thirdly, and the most important of all, is that it depends on how he proceeds from there. There are many avenues he can take, some good, and that will be a product of his time and efforts in workin' that program, and some will be negative, and, quite possibly, despite of his program workin'.

Personally, whether I fall or not, I have gained tremendously from GYE, SA, the 12 steps, the books, the camaraderie of others, mussar and much more.

Godspeed to all

As a typical nudnick, I want to know what's the "much more"

Hakolhevel wrote on 11 Dec 2020 05:38:

That's a good question; can't think of anythin' specific right now.

In the spirit of nudnick, what made you post this now?

mggsbms wrote on 14 Dec 2020 20:21:

i saw that i was bein' used as an example of people usin' gye for a long time and then fallin'. 

You should be used as an example of people usin' GYE for a long time, through good times and not as good times, and still stickin' with it.

Not like those other "old timers'" who completely vanished. Maybe some are still fightin' the good fight, but many are probably not. 

As they say, "the road to secret old timers' forum is paved with..."

Actually, I'm not sure what it's paved with, but if anyone gets there, make sure to drop us a line.

Bigmoish wrote on 06 Jan 2021 05:46:

"Stickin' with it" has its ups and downs. Sorta like life. Sorta like marriage. Sex, learnin', business, raisin' kids. 

Dat's livin' I guess. 

Bigmoish wrote on 06 Jan 2021 05:46:

I'm stillgoing....

You should be used as an example of people usin' GYE for a long time, through good times and not as good times, and still stickin' with it.


Not like those other "old timers'" who completely vanished. Maybe some are still fightin' the good fight, but many are probably not. 


As they say, "the road to secret old timers' forum is paved with..."


Actually, I'm not sure what it's paved with, but if anyone gets there, make sure to drop us a line.I'm stillgoing....



 Welcome back SG. Long time no see? 

sleepy wrote on 07 Jan 2021 18:59:

Nope. He didn't say that. Perhaps reread. Interesting how you inferred that though..

And hello to you too Hakolhevel.

stillgoing wrote on 07 Jan 2021 19:25:

I also didn't not say it...
Partly based on experience, partly based on knowledge, mostly opinion.
Everyone who came here at some point or another came for a reason. If, after a period of having meaningful conversations and developing real or fake relationships, they completely disappear without a trace, one or more of the following is likely:
1) They began working another program and found the relationships here unnecessary.
2) They do continue their GYE relationships offline (I guess I'll have to ask them privately what's so bad about this place that they can't so much as say hello).
3) They never viewed the relationships forged here as anything of substance.
4) The friends they made here make them uncomfortable and guilty about their acting out.
5) They actively decide to live a lifestyle in direct contrast to what GYE stands for, making it unnecessary to come back.
6) Some combination of the above.

Feel free to add and argue.

I would add the following. I have gotten to know many guys here - for real. Many BH gain from GYE what they need, graduate, and move on. They would simply like to put this challenging part of their history behind them. We have to respect their decision. Some come from time to time to update their chart, and to chat with someone new and give some chizuk. Others do not even do that. Being that they got to know real people here, they hold on to some phone numbers and check in from time to time - especially if they forecast a challenging situation (a bochur going home to a house full of unfiltered devices, a married fellow going on a business trip to a potentially triggering location, etc) and want some input how to plan wisely.    When someone who developed a real relationship disappears without a trace - does not return phone calls, emails, etc., it can mean that unfortunately he slipped back in to bad behaviors and is too embarrassed to come forward, or his wife found out what was going on and said "you graduated - let's bury it", or maybe he is unfortunetely stranded on an island without phone service........

I still don't see it, but more importantly, in keeping this a safe place for all to grow - please keep personal insults and attacks off of this forum. We are here to get sober, not pick fights over who said what. That's for your mentor/sponsor/ step 4 or diary...

i am referring to the post to Big Moish which i do not want to quote. 
Thank you 

@Sleepy: What's your agenda exactly?

1) Who exactly would get insulted by his words? The people who aren't here? 

2) What he meant was, the people who were still struggling when they disappeared. There's no logical reason to assume they had a miraculous recovery overnight.

3) Is that the point he was trying to make, or is that nitpicking and learning up his post like a Rash"i?

4) Like SG wrote. This is a place of recovery, friendship and camaraderie. Let's try not to create an atmosphere where people must be concerned that every word they share, will be dissected and abused. 

                                  Grant