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Lust counterattack
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Lust counterattack 226 Views

Lust counterattack 27 Oct 2020 23:21 #356766

  • Grant400
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We all have many different tricks and methods how to deal with lust in general. Ways to prevent issues or change our mindset etc.

My question is: What in particular do you do when already under a lust attack? What method works for you the most and is your go to?

                                   Grant
Last Edit: 28 Oct 2020 01:00 by Grant400.

Re: Lust counterattack 28 Oct 2020 05:24 #356796

  • wilnevergiveup
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Grant400 wrote on 27 Oct 2020 23:21:
We all have many different tricks and methods how to deal with lust in general. Ways to prevent issues or change our mindset etc.

My question is: What in particular do you do when already under a lust attack? What method works for you the most and is your go to?

                                   Grant

Can you clarify what a "lust attack" is? Do you mean when I have the urge to seek, or when my eyes or mind stumbled onto something, or both?

When I am in the street and I see something, I know that I need to find something else to look at immediately, no questions asked. Then when the urge comes to have a second look I try to take a few deep breaths and think about what will happen if I don't look again. It's sometimes hard to look away but I won't have to look at the sidewalk forever, as with most things, gam zeh ya'avor
This is not very difficult when I am strong, but when I am in a lustful state or feeling down emotionally it's very difficult to put up the fight. When I am seeking, and then I see something, it's like "mazal tov I can now feed this monster..." obviously makes it that much harder to look away. For this the only thing that works for me is to decide before I go out that even though I am not feeling my best, this is yehorah v'al ya'avor, this takes priority. It doesn't always work but nothing else has worked better.

As far as urges are concerned, in my case, I usually will get the urge to seek when I am stressed or feeling low emotionally.

I don't think the urge is necessarily to seek, rather it's to satisfy my craving for feeling good about myself or feeling good and productive in general. 
For this we tend to turn to our tried and true method, not because it's the answer but because it's what we've always done. In reality we have to just get up and do something productive, until then, no matter how hard we try to fight, the urge will just grow and grow.

I have many project for when opening the gemara just wont cut it. Working out, reading, learning something lighter or a topic that interests me, spending time with a friend, spending time with family, and so on. 

When I am triggered by something and I do dwell on it then it's like digging a pit and trying to climb out. once I am in lust mode, it's an uphill battle. It's just not worth it, it makes everything that much harder, makes the next little while torturous. I remember reading somewhere here something that describes this so perfectly. Someone wrote "it feels like I am turning in the whirlpool of a toilet being flushed, you know where you are going to end up and there is little to do to stop it."

When this happens, I need to grab onto something before it's too late. The hard part is that when we are turning in the toilet it's very hard to stop and think.
I don't really have a good strategy for this and in the passed when I ended up this far I haven't been able to climb out. I guess the trick is not to end up here. The main idea here is to nip it as early as you can. We all fall into the trap of "if I give in a little, it will leave me alone for a while". I don't really know why after all this time we still fall for it...  
I don't know anyone who fell who didn't first give in a little. On the other hand, anyone who succeeds does so by saying no.

Wilnevergiveup
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Last Edit: 28 Oct 2020 17:28 by wilnevergiveup.

Re: Lust counterattack 28 Oct 2020 11:27 #356804

  • Hashem Help Me
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Grant400 wrote on 27 Oct 2020 23:21:
We all have many different tricks and methods how to deal with lust in general. Ways to prevent issues or change our mindset etc.

My question is: What in particular do you do when already under a lust attack? What method works for you the most and is your go to?

                                   Grant

Pick up the phone and call a chaver (who agrees to do this) and graphically tell him what you want to see or do. If done in a clinical, non triggering fashion, I have found the "attack" gets killed on the spot. When verbalized, it sounds so grotesque and inappropriate, that the thrill has its balloon busted.  Hatzlocha.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Lust counterattack 28 Oct 2020 22:53 #356831

  • Grant400
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For me I use these methods:

1) I remind myself how miserable I would feel if I gave in.

2) I think about how the pleasure is actually not as intense as we are imagining it.

3) I remind myself how painful it is to be triggered without a release. (Since masturbation isn't an option).

4) I think about how not fair it is to my wife and how guilty I would feel.

5) I accept the thought and continue with my life. I don't battle it or try to convince myself otherwise. I just let it be. It's just a thought.

                                  Grant
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