Hi this is my first forum. I struggled a lot in high school at points falling at least once a day but bh i somehow managed to move on and went for many years of bm with very few falls. When corona started i found myself slipping more than i liked so i rejoined gye and easily managed a streak of over 60 days (mostly in camp) but now im hope again and ibe fallen hard a number of times this week. I think i made a mistake by setting a goal that starting elul im gonna be perect for a full year (which i dont think ive ever done a hundred percent) and that made me willing to give in until elul. Bh i havent had any problems while in yeshiva the past bunch of years so right now my goal is to make it clean till next week when yeshiva starts and maybe check back in bein hazmanim if its an issue again. I would love for everyone to follow with me! If everyone who reads could just leave a short response so i know youre there i would appreciate it

GO STRONG!!!!! Hashem loves you just for the try!! Wishing you a successful full year!!

Just want to explain how i fall. Ive never watched real p__n (it grosses me out too much) but besides for that although im usually super careful to not watch any movies or news or secular stuff once i start the fall i let myself do whatever i want. The funny thing is that i never fall the same way, i always fall by getting a new idea into my head of what to type into the search engine that is just too tempting to pass up. Is this a common trick and how to i convince myself that its so obviously fake since its all really the same

Hey there keep strong.

Making a goal to stay clean for a week sounds much more doable then a full year, but week after week will add up to a full year in the end.

Have you read through the handbook? 
guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/gye-handbook
If not, you might want to take a look.

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup

ac wrote on 19 Aug 2020 01:04:

Welcome! It should be b'hatzlacha! 

It seems like you already know the truth. Now comes the hard part putting your truth before your desires. There are no tricks, its gotta come from within you. Do some soul searching and see where your heart lies. Weigh the pros and cons and come to a conclusion about which path will make you happier in the long (or maybe even short) run. Once its clear to you and your decision is made, you can avail yourself to the tricks and tips peppered across this site. But always remember at the end of the day it's you who's going to have to control it constantly and not some quick fix that can remove the urges. Also, you can! It's hard but your harder.


                                  Grant

well my chart is up to 2 days...just want to clarify that i set my goal as a year because bh (bli ayin hara) at this point in my life this isnt something i struggle with on a daily or even monthly basis and it usually takes no effort, this just been a few random falls every year (and the falls are really bad) and im hoping with the motivation of a perfect year ill beat those few nisyonos

Good luck and cheers to the year ahead!

ac wrote on 20 Aug 2020 01:24:

Sounds great, as long as it's not all or bust. 

Everyone's ultimate goal here is not just a year clean but a lifetime clean.
The problem is for most of us that goal doesn't have any meaning so we need to make a plan, how am I going to be clean for life. 

Everyone is different some like to take it "one day at a time" without focusing on any long term goals. Some like to make goals of a week or a month or even 90 days. The issue is, what happens if you fall. Can you get right back up, after all you messed up already? Another issue with thinking long term when struggling is that it is just too daunting (I have to suffer like this for how many more days?).

Either way, keep fighting.

Bh no struggles since starting this forum - yeshiva starts next week so if all goes well i should be quiet for a while and come back with my numbers way up. Thanks everyone and much hatzlacha

Much hatzlocha in yeshiva. May Hashem help you quit this thing for good.