GYE HB next tool(#4) is Chizuk
Similar to yesterdays post, with a couple new points.
The YH is constantly upgrading and refreshing his attacks, so we gotta do the same. Daily chizuk keeps us fresh and our head in the right direction. SO crucial because after a while of being clean, sometimes we forget how bad our falls can be. Gotta keep that daily juice. (Also my pointer from yesterday)
GYE has many tools for chizuk from the forums(such amazing people) to Q and As etc
Just one point which seems important, better to read a small amount and focus to internalize that rather than a bunch of things. Thinking deeply on one small thing can have a longer and stronger effect.

There is a saying here. The first look is on G-d the second look is on you.

Yea, stay safe inside tonight. The only thing I would suggest is that you take a long hard look at the content you allow... Whether your fault or not, to come onto your screen. I can say that my last streak was broken because of kosher triggers, those little things that chipped away at my resolve... Which eventually left me falling. I'm not saying to not look at news of course, and I may be extreme... But I can tell you for myself until I deleted all news, browsing, shopping on my phone I couldn't stay clean. 
You say news doesn't really interest you, so your already I'm a good position, of course the first look is never on you, but if you walk down a street of pritzus and see something "by accident" it's up to us to really see if that's the truth, and why we allowed it. 
Lifee Aniyus Daytee, I think you should delet Twitter. It's a non Jewish platform with so much shmutz, and we all know even if your looking at clean news, or sports... For every 5 minutes spent scrolling through the feed its inevitable that you will see something of pritzus and triggering. Why walk down that path in the first place. 
I sued this same philosophy for myself with music streaming apps. I'm only gonna listen to kosher music, but every so often against my will a new Apple Music artist will be advertised with her picture... Not something someone who is struggling really needs. I deleted Apple Music on my phone and canceled my subscription. For myself I made s concious decision that I'm going to try to make this as easy as possible for me, and when a real fight comes I'll have the energy to say know because those little things were never chipping away at me. 
Im also not saying it's an easy decision, in order to be clean we really need to give up a lot. It's usually the small acts that can end up having huge effects in our recovery. Although I might say that that picture isn't your fault, what I will say is that it got you to think about porn... Something that would not have been brought up otherwise. 

Again, not trying to be pushy, sorry if I came off that way. 
Let me know what you think.

battle-of-the-gen wrote on 02 Jun 2020 04:55:

I love the honesty. You are holding yourself to a really high standard and I think that is great. I don't think it is considered a fall. You didn't want to see it.


I appreciate what you said, yosef10. I myself try to have some standards. Tonight someone sent me a link to a Facebook post and I had to tell him to copy + paste and send me an email as I don't have access to Facebook. I don't have access to an Internet browser on my phone.

That being said, I would like to provide a counter-argument based on my own personal experience. When I have blocked more access on my computer, I have just turned to others' devices that are unfiltered to do those non-pornographic things and then one thing leads to the next. It took me a while to realize that. For a time, I would use my wife's computer (unfiltered, but password-protected and I don't know the password). "Can you open up your machine, so that I can do *insert non-pornographic thing here*?" "Sure!" Next thing you know... Now, I have a lot more access on my machine, which does include some things like news that can have triggering images or even headlines, but I have no need to use an unfiltered machine. In fact, it has been months since I have used my wife's machine. Just another perspective...

@yosef10 and שבע יפול צדיק וקם,  I hear both responses and I hear both sides of the coin. Happens to be I'm not a member of twitter, or any social media (unless you consider Whatsapp) and BH its not a place where I've had issues with(Used to have snapchat a while ago but then it started getting so inappropriate with the live stories and news thingys and I dropped it). I happened to have been scrolling through twitter(account-less) over the past couple days bec they had some really juicy footage of the riots/looters(apparently they have other juicy stuff there too lol) . The device I use has webchaver to one of rebbiem, but doesnt have a filter due to college purposes. I find that my rebbe getting screenshots of what I'm doing(through webchaver) is enough of a "filter" for me and I haven't have had any issues with my personal device yet. I actually feel quite safe using it knowing I won't check anything too triggering bec my rebbe is "watching". 
I'm basically finished making a contract that is gonna bzh stop me from using the other unfiltered devices in my house which is my main access-point.

yosef10 wrote on 03 Jun 2020 00:48:

 100% correct, as for walking in the street, I'v found if you ignore and dont linger on a sight, it cant control you. If you're in a pretty bad part of the neighborhood (e.x. Manhattan) then try to walk looking down, yeah yeah "I look so stupid", "that's not for me, thats for the big Gedolim". Say whatever you want but it works

BH another clean day in the books. More good news, after mentioning a bunch of days ago that my my eyes were a bit more wary of my surroundings, I think I'm starting to transition back to normal. When I went out today, I was less focused on looking around and just more myself BH.

Tool #5 in the HB is Alternative Fulfillment
Porn and masturbation feels good; theres a certain fulfillment that our bodies get(and come to crave) when we do it. BH we know that this isn't what we are here for. We were given this drive for fulfillment for other reasons(not for now), and when we JO we are miss-using it. This tool is to find something that satiates this gap of fulfillment. Find a chesed that we like doing. Add another seder on something you want to learn and find interesting. Start a project in your house or at work that is accomplishing and motivating. 
Another idea it mentions is to get a geshmak and a warmth from oneg shabbos/yom tov and zemiros. Have kumzetzim. Find geshmak in areas that feel good and don't come with a price(of guilt and shame). And feeling productive makes you feel so much better. 

Btw for the record 
ful·fill·ment
noun 
1 the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted: "winning the championship was the fulfillment of a childhood dream."
 • satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's abilities or character: "she did not believe that marriage was the key to happiness and fulfillment."
What a horrible example lol

BH another good day in the books, the battle is moving slowly away from the forefront of my thoughts and slowly to just not having an urge. Right now the thought of mast or porn, doesn't even get me excited. Like I really don't wanna do it because of how destructive it can be and I want to put the chapter behind me so badly. I'm assuming a trigger might do some damage and knock me out of the mindset, but hopefully not. 

The 6th tool in the GYE HB is Physical Activity

So much of wanting to jerk off is a everything inside of you building up and a need of a release. Whether it be a studying for college, just being bored for a while, the stresses of life, or seeing a bunch of triggers, masturbating can be a feel-good release. Therefore, physical activity can be huge. Its the body releasing in a healthy manner(theres science to prove it with runners high and other stuff). If your like me, and like playing sports, then playing ball is such a good feeling(football or basketball... 1 on 1 any day ). You feel good about being productive because your physically being healthy(and productivity is also another major key) and your releasing so much vent up frustrations and energy inside. Getting into a habit of exercising on a consistent basis can go a long way(It can be one of those habits you pick up when breaking this one)   

Stam I think its probably a good idea to be mekabel to go jogging or some other physical activity for 10 mins or something every time before you jerk off, bec it can also get your head in a good spot and focused on something else. (maybe something I'll do later, if needed)

Another good point the HB mentions is that sometimes we feel lazy and tired and not down to exercise. The way to get in the mood is to just go. Once your out there, youll get in the mood and when your finished youll fell so good.

2 weeks clean!!!! Ideas for celebrating?

battle-of-the-gen wrote on 04 Jun 2020 01:32:

Yeah buddy, reach out and start helping others. It gives you better feelings than the best ice cream, steak,...…(or than the most erotic acting out)

battle-of-the-gen wrote on 04 Jun 2020 01:29:

I also fund for myself that commiting to too much is a great way to not be active. If I tell myself I'm going to go on a 5 mile run... Probably not gonna happen. A mile walk might be more enticing. 

Also so in terms of celebration, aside from getting help from others, I would suggest building up your confidence and seeing where you came from. Look through your old posts... Be proud... Aside from that, indulging because of good success is always a positive if you do it right. Buy a new safer or book, a cool pen... Something not crazy expensive but something you'll apriciate, make good associations with success in this inyan. 
disclaimer: anything inherently or even slightly destructive... Likewatching poor a don masterbating isn't a reward (sounds dumb, but it's happened to the best of us, (or worst, cause it happened to me ))

BH another clean day. I do have a feeling that this attempt to break mast/porn is really going to be the one. While it may always be a part of me and it'll always be underlying waiting to roar its head, and even chas vesholom(bzh it wont happen) if I do fall, I think the things I picked up, learned, and the mindset I have right now, will always be attainable and I can return to it. (The network of people I can reach out to, the messages and mindsets etc.) I hope I'm right. I'm gonna daven I'm right. (Part of the feeling comes from that my urges aren't so strong, and when I do see a girl accidentally in the street, I'm not so triggered, I'm able to look away and just think about something else)
Tool #7 in the HB: Making Fences
Making fences is common sense. If theres a edge, then we don't leave it open assuming no one's gonna fall over. We make one so no one should ever get there in the first place. So one way of doing this being is mekabel to do something BEFORE you jerk off(call your mom, jog  for 15 mins etc). The book gets involved in making nedarim and shevous to uphold those fences, and I dont feel qualified to get into doing that(even though I'm learning nedarim this zman) so I'm just gonna say make a strong kabbala and hold yourself accountable to keep it(maybe tell a chaver or mentor about it) 
You can also make a "punishment" for falling. Something uncomfortable. Take a cold shower, push ups etc. The kabbalh should be hocked with a mentor and someone who has made them before and will hold you accountable.(quick shoutout to TaPHSIC which I've heard a lot about but still don't know what it is)
I think these fences go hand in hand with honesty and accountability. Bec your here for yourself. YOU(talking to myself) want to change. And if YOU don't get it done, YOUR the one paying the consequences(here and up there). So no playing games and tricking the system bec who you fooling. And as you keep up these "Pre or Post game" workouts up eventually theyll work. 
​p.s Figure out something based on your personality that works. Its not one size fits all, figure what makes you uncomfortable but still doable. Speak it over with people.

I really like that ocncept of post game workout. Something I found from my last fall was that I trusted myself too much... Whether I was subconsciously wanted more, or I thought it was done with, I think it would be best for me to make a resolve to walk away from the computer and maybe go for a walk right after the fact.  
Than,s so much for the insight, have a great Shabbos. 

Bdchasdei Hashem another amazing day. I was able to get out and ball a bit, so that was productive and reliving.
Bit busy erev shabbos so no piece from the HB.
Everyone have a geshmak warm and hartzig shabbos. Get that wholesome feeling from zemiros, spending time with your family, and some torah.
Remember Hashem loves you and Battle on!