Hi peoples. What do you do if you're lonely and socially anxious?

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There is a "Just Having Fun" section of the forums where you can exchange jokes. not sure if this helps

farblunjet wrote on 17 Oct 2018 05:49:

You can actually get therapy for social anxiety snd the prognosis usually is excellent.

Is therapy an acceptable approach to you?

Hi,

I imagine that must be really tough. I know the hardest thing for me in life has been moments when I feel lonely. I am not socially anxious but when the people who you would socialize with are not available or dont understand your issue it can be ver lonesome. 

This is obviouly very hard, but appreciate that Hashem is always with you and has every confidence in you. As well, try and figure out what makes you most lonely and find ways to solve that. Are you having productive days? Helping others? Can you socialize with smaller crowds?

I definitely agree therapy can be a helpful approach.

Rooting for you!

farblunjet wrote on 17 Oct 2018 05:56:

Love the irony

I am struggling with the same things. I have yet to find a solution. Email me if you'd like to chat

yea, i've gone to lots of therapy and taken medication, and still taking some medication, and the thing that's helped me really learn most about myself are some psychotropic medications that I was on for a few months, no longer. It's been a few years since. 

And what i've realized is that it's just that I have a very crappy personality. So I can act and pretend for a bit to get my needed human interaction but it's very emotionally draining.

farblunjet wrote on 22 Oct 2018 19:20:

You are not really stuck with your personality though. Some therapists can help you change it by helping you nail down what you are thinking that cause some self-defeating behaviors, and how to try out new behaviors. I can't refer you to anyone, but they exist.

you can practice better acting and maybe get better at it. But you are what you are. When I was on the meds and anxiety wasn't much of an issue, i realized that anxiety wasn't really my core issue, it's a symptom of the issue. And the issue is me. Personality disorder. (Which is a real thing. Look it up.) Like the rambam says, people are born with tendencies and inclinations and you just have to fight it.

EDIT:
Types of personality disorders:
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/personality-disorders/types-of-personality-disorder/

farblunjet wrote on 22 Oct 2018 20:02:

I googled it but I don't see what you mean.

You don't mean borderline personality disorder?

Types of personality disorders:
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/personality-disorders/types-of-personality-disorder/

farblunjet wrote on 22 Oct 2018 22:58:

Which of those do you have?

I got a smorgasbord of a large selection

farblunjet wrote on 28 Oct 2018 15:02:

Which ones do you not have?

Good question (not sarcastically)