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TOPIC: Group 196 37217 Views

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 04:49 #301944

LifneiHashem
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Although its definitely true that a slip can lead to a fall within the next few days, I want to reiterate what you said, that this doesn't need to be the case. I've had a few occasions where I slipped, even very seriously, and I told myself "this is it, it's just a matter of time now." But you know what, its not true! I've found this to be for at least 2 intertwined reasons: 1) I only need to get through today 2) thoughts are fleeting, and as long as I can get through today, by the time tomorrow comes ( or the next day) the thoughts and heat and NEED will have gone just as easily as they came.

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 07:05 #301960

shua73
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LifneiHashem wrote on 03 Jan 2017 04:49:

I agree. But keep us posted. We're rooting for you.

smile

You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 08:21 #301961

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	Hello beautiful souls. Keep up the truckin'! @Yosef: Many a time have I justified Youtube use. Turns out it... used me... I agree a slip doesn't necessarily lead to a fall. But I like to widen the geder of a fall and thin out the chance of a slip. To be more brutally honest with myself. Because if I slip how I like it, I've already fallen.
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 11:55 #301987

Yosef Tikun HaYesod Current streak: 66 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 562 Karma: 28	Cord, o.k. I'll "bite". What does HALT mean?

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 14:00 #302002

cordnoy
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Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 03 Jan 2017 11:55:

Cord,
o.k. I'll "bite". What does HALT mean?

Hungry
angryI
Lonely
Tired

It is written in the books that people who are serious about recovery read.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 18:59 #302058

will Succeed Beh
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Thanks Shua, Can you explain it a bit clearer?

BE"H WE WILL ALL SUCCEED

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טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 19:13 #302063

shua73 Current streak: 133 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 263 Karma: 7	will Succeed Beh wrote on 03 Jan 2017 18:59: Thanks Shua, Can you explain it a bit clearer? WWhich point specifically? Either quote the entire post or a specific part to make it easier for me. thanks
	smile You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 19:17 #302065

will Succeed Beh
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shua73 wrote on 03 Jan 2017 19:13:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 03 Jan 2017 18:59:

Thanks Shua, Can you explain it a bit clearer?

WWhich point specifically? Either quote the entire post or a specific part to make it easier for me.
thanks

If i havent got a specific thing that set me up, just the boredom (when i had a drive one day to search for Porn, i posted it - as i wanted out, but this was searching for something to get me satisfied) so how can i make a fence for it?

BE"H WE WILL ALL SUCCEED

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Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 19:17 #302066

cordnoy
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shua73 wrote on 03 Jan 2017 19:13:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 03 Jan 2017 18:59:

Thanks Shua, Can you explain it a bit clearer?

WWhich point specifically? Either quote the entire post or a specific part to make it easier for me.
thanks

SSsshua, ssstopp makin' fffun of me.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

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Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 19:28 #302072

shua73
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will Succeed Beh wrote on 03 Jan 2017 19:17:

shua73 wrote on 03 Jan 2017 19:13:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 03 Jan 2017 18:59:

Thanks Shua, Can you explain it a bit clearer?

WWhich point specifically? Either quote the entire post or a specific part to make it easier for me.
thanks

II'll do one of those game show things that you get to call a friend. Cordnoy, I honestly think you understand this clearer than I do. Can you explain it please.

The post that's being referenced is

HHey guys. Seems to be happy new year party for those drunken desires within us. I find for me that after I slip I tend to trick myself into thinking that since I caught myself before I fell I'm still safe. But the slip leads to it being easier to slip in the future and so on. I'm worried for both of you. Keep us posted as you get back on track. And don't read what I'm writing as that you'll eventually just fall so why not now. I think that reinstating the previous gedarim won't necessarily work nor will potentially more stringent ones. Something led you to open the gate that you closed as a fence between you and porn. You wanted at that time to open the gate. There was some void within you that led you to the comforting experience of viewing porn. Figuring out how to not just fill that void by distracting yourself or putting up more walls, but to instead attack the problem from another angle may be more effective. For example, I think that by me the core thing leading me to act out is that I feel lonely or mistreated to the extent that I feel underappreciated ... By retreating into the world of porn, I self medicate. Although I generally act out after slipping multiple times all bc of curiosity, I think my issue is also my insecurity at times in a certain respect. Both, things complement each other. Thus, fences prevent curiosity, but don't lead to me recognizing that the loneliness is in my head and that it's not necessarily real. By working on that I am able to fix the problem from another angle making my fences more effective.

smile

You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 03 Jan 2017 19:36 #302073

cordnoy
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Busy signal.

I take questions that are ten seconds or less.

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Re: Group 196 04 Jan 2017 00:09 #302106

LifneiHashem Current streak: 735 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 216 Karma: 18	cordnoy wrote: Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote: Cord, o.k. I'll "bite". What does HALT mean? Hungry angryI Lonely Tired It is written in the books that people who are serious about recovery read. Cordnoy delivers the best 1 line zingers

Re: Group 196 04 Jan 2017 00:10 #302107

LifneiHashem Current streak: 735 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 216 Karma: 18	Quiet we haven't heard from you in a while. What's up?

Re: Group 196 04 Jan 2017 19:52 #302189

Yosef Tikun HaYesod Current streak: 66 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 562 Karma: 28	The problem is that I don't think the person ever enjoys receiving a "zinger". Things are so backward sometimes, that the person is praised for saying something sharp, and putting someone down with wit. Is this a Torah value? Perhaps he should get a karma point. Unbelievable. Bad enough he said it. But then to praise him for it?!

Re: Group 196 04 Jan 2017 20:02 #302190

Yosef Tikun HaYesod Current streak: 66 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 562 Karma: 28	My update is that I think that I will try the taphsic shavua for a month. I wrote the details on my 90-day thread, if anyone wants to see it. How's everyone else doing? I think regular/daily updates are a good idea... especially for Terrific Teves and will help us come together as a group.