Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 23 Dec 2016 12:09:

Yosef,

I do not know if you are an addict or not, but making amends with others is also part of the 12 steps. Good Job!

I wrote that sentence before I read Cordnoy and BH and what I am trying to say in a more gently way is that solving the addiction is only the beginning of the work. The 12 steps include taking a moral inventory. I myself work on anger management once a week with a therapist. (You mentioned anger). Speaking of anger management, less than a year ago, I had a very clean mouth. The combination of GYE forum not storing a post if your connection crashes + my weak connection encouraged some flowery language  to come out of my mouth. I am writing this AGAIN in Word and am now pasting.

What I said does not take away from the kudos I gave you on previous posts. May we all be able and willing to change as quickly as you are

Hi Brothers, A Gut Voch & A Freilichen Chanuka

​How was the first Chanuka Lights by you?

By me it was amazing B''h, there was this Clean feeling.... sitting by the candles connecting to myself and to Hashem, trying to keep my little boy occupied  at the same time, wonderful family time and wonderful Hashem time!!!

This Shabbes the old drives started to come up, in forms of old pictures and videos, B''h managed most times to steer my thoughts to other places, the thing that kept me in bay not to go in to the circles {i do want - no i dont want ....} was the amazing TaPHSiC Method program.

It was just by the Chanuka Lecht i realised why the YH went on to such an assault today! It was the last day chance to get me before Chanuka, imagine how i would of felt if i would of fallen after after working nearly a whole month on Clean Kislev Project - Lekoved Chanuka, just to fall 1 day before chanuka!!!!!!!!!
i would have been Broke! (dont worry i dont think that the YH forgot me... he is still at work:imp:)

So somewhere this week i'll have to renew my Shvua, as it is expiring on Rosh Chodesh Shevat.

quiet wrote on 20 Dec 2016 16:31:

Ladies* and Gentleman,

*For those of us who were on guard your eyes in 2009, girls and boys used to discuss their struggles together until Guard put up a mechitza. Then girls could read boys, but not vice versa and girls would send messages through 7 up if they wanted to comment because they could not post on boys

Now here is the good news. 9 clean days -- So above is what I said I would do after 9 clean days. In the last 16 months or so, 9 is very hard to come by. Best since 11/9 which was 13 days. I credit my success in part to by being active in group 196. Gematria of Kotz - thorn. Thank you everybody.

I put my jacket down, draped over an empty chair across from me,
and sat down to learn in a Beis Medrash, with many more empty seats than filled seats.
An hour or so later, a guy comes and asks me using hand gestures if he can take that chair
and move my jacket to another empty chair. 
O.k. whatever, I don't care. Go right ahead.
But then it occurred to me, that it was so odd that he had to ask me to move my jacket, 
when there were tons of empty chairs around the Beis Medrash. 
Oh well, back to learning.
Then, when we got up to daven, I realized that the chair my jacket was on,
was in fact one of the ONLY ones without armrests, and this large fellow wanted
specifically, that chair, since it was more comfortable for him to fit in/ sit in/ and learn in.
What seemed so odd and nonsensical at the time, I know understood and it made a lot of sense.
This is a lesson for life. Many times I don't understand something.
But, in the future, I will understand everything...why it had to be that way. Interesting, huh?!

Boruch_Hashem, thank you! I appreciated your post very much.
(You should know, that not everyone knows how to give mussar
so that it will be received well):
"Good job on your new 'upgraded system.'
It is impressive that you more or less upgraded the system over night.
I don't think that it is fair, however, to expect everyone else in the family
to flip the switch the same exact second that you do.
It has been months (years?) since you made a special focus to family time
and supper, you cannot expect that the minute you decide that you want it again,
they will all be there waiting for you. You need to earn their trust again,
they may need to see that you really are committed to this upgrade,
before they get their hopes too high up and jump on board.
Keep up the good work, and keep a positive attitude,
creating a positive atmosphere in the home.
When your family sees that you are really committed to this "upgrade"
and desire quality family interaction, they will slowly come on board.
Be patient and positive. Hatzlacha Rabba."

Hi Yosef

Would it be possible when you quote somebody to put it into quote marks, so it will be easier to catch up with you!

quiet wrote on 25 Dec 2016 04:38:

Shkoyach Reb yid for the cusheve gematriya

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 25 Dec 2016 12:22:

Well I've had times where some random guy in empty BM sit down right near me and starts learning loud and there is no reason other than he just is about as cognizant of his surroundings as the guy eating sardines on a crowded airplane. So I hope you only get situations where there's some explanation.

Hi Shua, how are you?

Like your new picture, hence i like more the sunglasses than the lion:wink:

will Succeed Beh wrote on 25 Dec 2016 14:46:

Yeah me too. First I looked for ducks or geese in sunglasses but there weren't any good ones so I settled for the lion.

It's been 18 days and they go by slowly. If I'm up after 12 I like updating the chart on my app since I get to count the next day already and get a bigger number.

shua73 wrote on 25 Dec 2016 14:35:

Nobody should think I was calling anyone a thorn, chas v’shalom. Rather sort of meant imagine a thorn in the oso makom of your imagined destination. Alternatively, this whole lust addiction is like an annoying thorn.

I posted very vivid paragraphs in Motzai Shabbos post. Then I remembered seeing an even more vivid post on GYE years ago. I gained a lot from the post. By the time I left work to drive carpool and came back, the post was gone to my utter dismay. I could have learned a lot from it because I have similar (certainly not as bad as he did) struggles. I subsequently asked a moderator in person why the post was taken down. He said the GYE moderators did not take it down, but instead recommended to the fellow to withdraw his post for his own safety.

So then I replaced the incriminating words with ______.

Then I said, I have to care about myself more than GYE cares about its members so I removed the whole thing.

Let just say this. I was talking to a girl on Shabbos and I was visibly physically attracted to her (and if my wife was standing there, she would have noticed and beaten me up for it (physically and figuratively). Even without my wife I was a little self conscious and turned around with a English sefer hiding what was going on.

I see it did not make my definition of slip, but let’s just say my hands subsequently made it to my pants below the belt.

Gruesome question for miketz: Why was Potiphar call Poti Phera? What does Nistares Meeilav mean? How does the sifsei chachamim further explain this to answer how he could have tashmish with his wife? I usually ask kids in shul parsha questions? In this case -- if they do not know the answer, I do not tell them. And no, I do not think I will be asking them the last question. And I the Am HAARETZ still do not understand: WHY WAS HE NISTARES MEEILAV? WHAT DID HE ACCOMPLISH EVEN IF HE DID LIKE YOSEF? WAS THIS A GENDER CHANGE OPERATION OF THE TIME? Would YOSEF think he was a female?

shua73 wrote on 25 Dec 2016 15:36:

MMufasa!

cordnoy wrote on 25 Dec 2016 15:37:

AAnd as I think quite appropriate hakuna matata 

shua73 wrote on 25 Dec 2016 15:36:

I do not think you have to wait until midnight. The GYE forum is based on Israel time. Depending on when I fall, sometimes I get a free day and sometimes I have to wait over 24 hours. It certainly does not go mees laes. If you are in say the EST time zone, I find I can easily update my day after 10PM EST

shua73 wrote on 23 Dec 2016 04:32:

Shua,

Did I lose my right to Karma? I am trying to be patient. I told the story of this yiddish forum in my shul to some of us who came to the learning program on Friday night. On the forum, one of the kids name's is mumcheh Atzum -- hey, that's not yiddish