quiet wrote on 20 Dec 2016 00:52:
Shua asked me to read
this article and let him know what I think. When I got to the end of the article, I was going to point out something to him rather than just give a simple thank you. Then I realized maybe the
oilam can gain:
Throughout the article, the author states a person is driven to find the 'perfect' porn. That is mamash me. I need to a disrobed girl doing...
The next paragraph is hidden. On one hand I feel better when I share details. Some are less interested, so I give you the option to keep closed now that I discovered 'spoilers,' but keep it available for those who it would help to know they are not alone.
Then, either immediately, or upon urge some time later, I think to myself, "I have seen everything, but I just need to see one more thing. A movie of a girl or girls doing X. Wait no, I need her to be in that position fully exposed doing this activity." AND AS EASY AS IT IS TO FIND ANY FETISH YOU WANT BY SIMPLY GOOGLING IT
Warning: Spoiler!(Nice to know others find it attractive to watch them readin' tzena rena -- there is a site dedicated to inah beinonis -- , girls in anchorage (site dedicated to this as well)
I think I knew this subconsciously especially with my understanding of yetzer hara. Now I realize I will NEVER be satisfied.
Everything is bad, but I understand from my Rebbe the Jewish perspective is that masturbation is worse than r'iyah, of course without measuring frequency and duration. Masturbation is a physical maaseh with hand and there are halachos of how you sleep, go to the bathroom, etc. to avoid.
The goyish hashkafa is you can do whatever you want to you own body, but watching it is terrible, especially on a computer when you can get caught, especially on someone else's computer (work), etc...
My Rebbe would tell me if you can satisfy yourself with only riyah and no MZL, that is step one (hence my personal definition of fall CURRENTLY is MZL)
Non-frum doctor: By all means MZL, but not on computer.
So with checks and balances, my fear may prevent r'iyah and Judaism works on my MZL.
However, I rarely MZL without Internet porn. So if I could control the r'iyah my problems would be over
I see how Masturbation is worse than looking because it is a
Ma'aseh. It's hinted to in the Torah its severity (this week's parsha!!!) but looking at the schmutz has a
pasuk b'pheirush: Lo Sasuru. And it's being
oiver one of the 6 constant mitzvos. And 95% of the time you'll end up masturbating anyway. It's sold in a bundle. Not independently. You need to rely on a MIRACLE to be able to stop yourself from masturbating after watching porn. The images linger, they tingle your senses... you can't see, hear, smell, think straight for hours on end. Heck, sometimes, like, you'd need some massive tragedy to jolt you out of your lust bubble at that point. You lose
bechirah. And honestly, you're
NOT that
chashuv to warrant a plane full of people to crash outside your house and die tragically JUST so you can get a reality check!!!
Or maybe you are. Not sure. But don't rely on it!
Sure masturbation comes with a costlier
aveirah pricetag, but if you can kid yourself into thinking that a fall does NOT include watching pornography for hours on end, then you're not attacking the lust itself! You're clanging your sword against the robust outer wall of the fortress! And perhaps if you were playing Age of Empires this would indeed be the way to go, but we don't live in a video game.
And see, I raised your karma. Patience is a little girl with freckles, no?