I have a full 24 hours of sobriety to call my own.. I also made a gratitude list.

Will try to post daily.

I had 6 days of sobriety and then fell last night. I'm posting this here since I committed in the last post they I will post here and didn't comply. I hope I will from here on.

The gratitude list opened my eyes to see that I'm not appreciating all the good I have in my life in general, and specifically when it comes to the things that have been getting me down. I am focusing on the lulls and not realizing the highs. Just jotting them down changes the whole perspective and so does my mood change.

I've been trying to work this together with ACT therapy which also teaches a person to shine the light on the goals - values and not on thoughts, stories as they call them.

In any case it seems like I have a lot of work cut out for me, to start living life, and not dwell on everything that should've could've been different.

Thanks for the share.
I will try to post more regularly on the "g" thread, for I have been telling people that this is crucial.

Doing fine today. Day two in the new count.

I've started reading the white book something I've neglected in the past. I was / am under the impression that it's not the real deal. There is some pretty deep writing there, not sure I grasp everything.

There is however one point that really resonates which are the general aspects of addiction. Tolerance, abstinence, and withdrawal. I can relate to all three. 

Another point. This addiction has become the single most defining factor of my identity. Both when I'm up and down. I wonder if this alone is feeding the addiction. In a certain sense it makes me feel special or different. I'm not so sure I'll like it if I hear that a large percentage of people have the same issue. It gives something to feel in some kind of special club. I would like to know if the chevrah agrees to this.

Day four came and went. Still sober BH. The stresses of life abound. But we're still around. Thank you Hashem.

Day six.

It's been a full week now BH. and without any other outlets. So that's some progress.

I ask hashem to keep me sober. I know the goal got to be one day at a a time. But I can't help but focus on the upcoming Yom Tov which is very different in a sober mind set. 

Going through some major stresses and decision making. I ask Hashem to guide me. And to realize that he's in control.

 

Eighth day

Thank you Hashem for a sober Shabbos.

Going in to the new week with renewed motivation. I ask Hashem for sobriety and clarity. And for the will to utilize my day to bring me fulfillment and content.

Amen.
Gd bless brother 

11th Day - all I can say, thank you Hashem from earth and heaven, for giving me every day including day eleven. 

You have helped me start anew, when my hopes were but a few, for that and so much more I say thank you.

mggsbms wrote on 21 Apr 2016 03:25:

When you recite hallel in shul tomorrow night
Keep these last two weeks in plain sight
We all know of the counting of days
But you and I know the special praise.

Is it from God - this special smile?
Because you were willing to go the extra mile.
I don't know and neither do you
But you feel it in your bones and that makes it true.

Many of us stumble - once, twice or thrice
And soon afterwards, we are dishin' advice
But it's when we do realize that we simply aren't able
That we can look forward to a life that is stable.

We both know that your last move had a very rocky start
But your talk with the other was straight from the heart
ווערטא מיט טעם - he made you believe
That where you are now is what God wants from thee.

ברכה והצלחה בכל מעשי ידיכם
ותזכו לראות נחת מכל בניכם ובנותיכם
חג כשר ושמח - one day at a time
And with that, I will end this rhyme.


 

Umein !

In this very special prose, The depth of your friendship truly shows.
 

15th day

Will need some extra chizuk for the next few days. Anything is welcome.

 

Are you struggling with something extra in particular or the usual yomtov hardships?

Nothing in particular. It's the off time in the month (was only on for about six days). And Yom Tov has it's own hardships in shmiras einaim, plus the relaxed lazy schedule, if not utilized correctly can become a colossal disaster. I am asking hashem to help me keep my mind focused.

I hear you loud and clear,  i know the feeling, i got off to a rocky start today,  so I know what you mean. 

Hope to hear good news.