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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: My story 4782 Views

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 08:42 #238341

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Last Edit: 29 Mar 2015 04:24 by Cheshbon Tzedek.

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 08:47 #238343

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Last Edit: 29 Mar 2015 04:25 by Cheshbon Tzedek.

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 09:01 #238344

  • cordnoy
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Welcome again.
I'm no expert; just a simple commenter.
As an outsider who doesn't know you, obviously, it does seem to me , although you write that you don't suffer from addiction, that you are addicted to lust somewhat.
You seem to think that by conquerin' one certain type of thing and switchin' to another, it is like a new yetzer hara. If it would be the y"h, perhaps you might be correct. I personally doubt it. I like to speak from experience...mine, but it no way does it mean to say that the same should apply to you. I also over many years went from one fetish to another or one desire or fantasy to another. Maybe not as drastic as you and mine were also progressively worse. The bottom line is I was addicted to lust.

Not sure if this will help you, but once I came to that realization, there were many tools on this site that I was able to use and that has been the catalyst for my recovery process.

Your path should be b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 10:13 #238350

  • ineedchizuk
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A gut vuch, CT!

Glad you're able to share- hope this process helps you to ''get it out of your system.

Having said that, with all due respect, and with appreciation that you seem to be a sincere ben torah wanting to grow, your posts, and especially to last one have many many triggers.
This coming from someone who hardly ever understands when people point that out on other posts. So I have no doubt that to others, there is much more triggering content than I see. I'm sure you don't mean to be machshil anyone.

Please reach out to the moderators and ask for help revising ALL your posts, so that chas vesholom, this will not be a mitzvah haba biaveirah.

Moderators, I hope you can help the choshuv member CT here, by maybe scanning before it gets posted, since this is recurring.

Thank you

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 10:37 #238355

  • cordnoy
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Every person can get triggered in different manners.
Obviously, when we ask people to introduce themselves and tell us what they struggle with, there will be such occurrences.
I looked at his last post several times and do not see where your reaction comes from.
that bein' said...you obviously did see somethin'.

That bein' said......

Wishin' everyone hatzlachah in recovery
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 10:41 #238356

  • cordnoy
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Cheshbon Tzedek wrote:
Here's what I keep telling myself: maybe this picture was taken by a spouse and then leaked because it was sent accidentally. Maybe it was sent on purpose but the person did Teshuvah. Maybe the person isn't alive anymore.


Did I miss somethin'?
Where did this come from?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 11:03 #238360

  • ineedchizuk
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The answer to your above 2 posts is that Skep edited it.
Thank you, Skep!

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 15:33 #238368

  • the.guard
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Hatzlacha on your journey, but please be careful NOT TO GIVE PEOPLE IDEAS... When you write about what TYPE of porn you are struggling with, some of the people on this site might be tempted to check it out c"v. PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 20:23 #238378

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Last Edit: 29 Mar 2015 04:26 by Cheshbon Tzedek.

Re: My story 31 Aug 2014 22:30 #238388

  • cordnoy
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Cheshbon Tzedek wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
Welcome again.
I'm no expert; just a simple commenter.
As an outsider who doesn't know you, obviously, it does seem to me , although you write that you don't suffer from addiction, that you are addicted to lust somewhat.
You seem to think that by conquerin' one certain type of thing and switchin' to another, it is like a new yetzer hara. If it would be the y"h, perhaps you might be correct. I personally doubt it. I like to speak from experience...mine, but it no way does it mean to say that the same should apply to you. I also over many years went from one fetish to another or one desire or fantasy to another. Maybe not as drastic as you and mine were also progressively worse. The bottom line is I was addicted to lust.

Not sure if this will help you, but once I came to that realization, there were many tools on this site that I was able to use and that has been the catalyst for my recovery process.

Your path should be b'hatzlachah


I'm no expert in addiction. I know from Chazal that almost everyone has this YH. But I don't think this makes everyone addicted. I'm sure there are many people here who are greater experts than me on this subject.


Look up R' Twerski's definition of addiction.
Look up what the people on this site have to say.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My story 01 Sep 2014 01:35 #238419

  • dms1234
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I agree with Cordnoy that it sounds like you don't just have a normal taavah in this area. It seems you could be addicted (of course you can only decide that)

In any case you say that you have physical illness and your wife has mental/emotional illnesses

First, why is your physical illness bothering you and why is your wife's state bothering you?

Also usually people that are addicted have underlying issues: mental/emotional, perhaps even if you aren't addicted you have some sort of issues that you need to deal with. I mean that just because you stop masterbating deosnt mean you will get better.
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: My story 01 Sep 2014 05:44 #238436

cordnoy wrote:
Cheshbon Tzedek wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
Welcome again.
I'm no expert; just a simple commenter.
As an outsider who doesn't know you, obviously, it does seem to me , although you write that you don't suffer from addiction, that you are addicted to lust somewhat.
You seem to think that by conquerin' one certain type of thing and switchin' to another, it is like a new yetzer hara. If it would be the y"h, perhaps you might be correct. I personally doubt it. I like to speak from experience...mine, but it no way does it mean to say that the same should apply to you. I also over many years went from one fetish to another or one desire or fantasy to another. Maybe not as drastic as you and mine were also progressively worse. The bottom line is I was addicted to lust.

Not sure if this will help you, but once I came to that realization, there were many tools on this site that I was able to use and that has been the catalyst for my recovery process.

Your path should be b'hatzlachah


I'm no expert in addiction. I know from Chazal that almost everyone has this YH. But I don't think this makes everyone addicted. I'm sure there are many people here who are greater experts than me on this subject.


Look up R' Twerski's definition of addiction.
Look up what the people on this site have to say.

b'hatzlachah


Where can I find it? Is it on this site?

Re: My story 01 Sep 2014 05:54 #238437

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Last Edit: 29 Mar 2015 04:27 by Cheshbon Tzedek.

Re: My story 01 Sep 2014 06:19 #238441

  • dms1234
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I hear you and feel you.

I am in no place to give you advice, but in my humble opinion, i will put out that perhaps you should focus on the good. Focus on the amazing things that you do have. You have a wife! You have a body! etc. Its hard i know but i have come to realize that sadness, depression, despair hasn't helped me at all. Perhaps you as well. So maybe try being grateful?

Just throwing ideas.

Also be sure to check out: Skep's tips
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: My story 01 Sep 2014 06:39 #238449

  • cordnoy
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R' Twerski is on the home page someplace and the oilam is splattered all over the forum...do a search for addiction or addicted.

Ask again, and others will help you find as well.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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