I had enough of this and think that telling my wife would be very helpful to me, as she would help me guard myself.
However, I know that I would lose her trust and it would have a debilitating effect on our marriage.
What do you think I should do?

Discuss it honestly and fearlessly with a competent Rav or a therapist. I think there are numbers/contacts to professionals you can call on GYE site.

Hatzlaha raba

Moshe

from the white book:

A Caution
We suggest that newcomers to Sexaholics Anonymous not reveal their sexual past to a spouse or family member who does not already know of it, without careful consideration and a period of sexual sobriety, and even then, only after prior discussion with an SA sponsor or group. Typically, when we come into the program, we want to share our excitement with those closest to us and tell all right away. Such disclosures might injure our family or others and should be confined to the group of which we are a part until a wise course is indicated. Of course, if there is any chance we have put others in danger, we take immediate steps to try to correct that.
Few things can so damage the possibility of healing in the family as a premature confession to spouse or family where sacred bonds and trust have been violated. Unwittingly, such confessions can be attempts on our part to dump our guilt, get back into good graces, or make just another show of willpower. Great caution is advised here.
Amends to family must begin with a sexually sober, changed attitude and behavior on a daily basis. Then, as we grow in recovery, we will find how to make direct amends.
Help from sponsor and group is indispensable here. There's always a way, if we really want to make things right.


im just quotin'....not tellin' you what to do.

Thanks

This is a question for old timers. Try to PM Dov. if you want my 2 cents it does not sound like the best idea right now.

I don't know if this is still relevant or not, but from experience I can tell you that if your only reason to tell is as

climbing wrote:


then you have absolutely no reason to tell. No one can help us guard ourselves except for ourselves and certainly not our wives.

I did tell my wife (over a long period of time, but that's not for now) and I had that expectation that she would want to be involved and help me out. I was blind to how selfish was being by not thinking of the fact that she would have plenty to deal with herself with this knowledge (pain, mistrust, etc), and her own sanity and hurt came before mine.

That is just regarding the reason that you wrote, if you have other reasons, then as the other's have said, discuss it with someone who is objective and can give you a right answer.

Pidiani: You did tell?
I don't remember hearin' you say that.

b'hatzlachah

Not making a big deal about it, but since it was nogeiah here, I just shared my experience.

If you think that it would be beneficial for you to hear more details, you have my email address