I wrote this originally as a response to another post. (here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/231061-Moshes-suggestion#231649 ?)
But after writing it I decided that I should present it as a post for itself and seek help and comment from all of you guys out there!

So here it is:


Moshe Avenue wrote:
Hi All

B'H I have 67 days clean and more importantly, 67 days sober....

From when I started on the program (Feb 24th, 2014,)I took a wall calendar that displays every day (the type of calendar we all get from various Jewish organisations!)and each morning I put a big red X through the previous day where I had been sober/clean. It didn't mean much to me for the first few weeks, but now that I have over two full months of sobriety I can visually see each day and how it has all accumulated

I have an unbroken chain of X's.

I also feel motivated by not breaking the chain.

I can't think how bad I'd feel if I saw a day without an X through it!!!

A small but effective tip.........


Shivisi reponds:
Thank you Moshe for sharing that small but helpful idea with us, all the way from Australia.
Unfortunately for me, I don't think this idea will work for me.
I am at 89!! days clean, but I think I may say that I'm NOT 89 days sober!
I'm not 100% sure what you meant to say with that, but I'll tell you what I mean.

I'm NOT looking forward to tomorrow, to day 90! I don't feel ANY excitement or feeling of victory etc. by getting to 90 days.
I'll tell you why.
I started the 90 day thing just "to show myself that could do it". Since, when it comes to "facing off against myself" I'm a very egoistic person, I wanted to show MYSELF that "I can stop whenever I want to".
Now that I'm finally there, I don't feel any push to "put more "Xs" on my chart".
I can't either "think how bad I'd feel if I saw a day without an X through it" - for the simple reason because I don't think I will feel bad!!!

What about "THE UNBROKEN CHAIN"?
I say to myself: (what I've been "preaching" to others here for the past 89 days):

It's "one day at a time!" right?
Every day is a victory! right?
"You never lose the past days even if you fall!" right?

ok so I gained 90 days of victory, which even if I "break the chain" I will never lose,
and whenever I'm in the mood of it I'll do some more "one day (or more)at a time victories.
BIG DEAL!!

A beautiful post, but why so many sad faces?

One day at a time is beautiful in its own right!

90 "one days" is even more beautiful!

I just try to build in what I have been granted until now, one day at a time!

I'm sorry IMPERFECTION,
I did not understand how what you wrote addresses my problem.

About the faces,I guess you're right I should try to keep the smiles on even when I'm not in the mood to,
so here's for you brother!

I hear you, shivisi, been there before.

Yes, that is why one day at a time is so important, it has nothing to do with a goal, because a goal can lose importance. It has nothing to do with anything but to live NOW, to do the right thing NOW. Even when all else seems insignificant, the present moment always beckons to be used correctly.

KOT!! KOMT!!!

I didn't update my chart to 90 days!
I'm not interested in all the mazel tov wishes etc - to me reaching 90 is a total anticlimax!
I dont even know why im posting anymore i feel like i reached "game over".
I'm not surprised I so knew this was coming.

nope i didnt fall, so what
maybe i even wish i did!
i know all these thoughts are ridiculously immature but Im just spilling my heart on onto the keyboard.
i hope it dosent affect anyone negatively.

Ok I got some insight-
I was chatting with Gev. Shebyesod-

I was telling him how i felt so anticlimaxed,
and that i didnt feel that the "90" had given me any energy to go ahead,
and I didnt feel motivated at all anymore,


When i said "I feel like "game over"! -
He says to me -

It's not game over - its press any key to go to go to the next level!
He suggested that
Maybe the first 90 was the beginning game to get me into it, with the challenge to reach the 90 day mark,
and now that i finished that level successfully
The next challenge level is to keep it up WITHOUT the excitement of the goal to the finish line - without the motivational energy!!!
To try that to stay clean without any adrenaline pushing u on!
now's "the real challenge"!


I think That he made a good point! - maybe he's right.

THANK YOU GEVURA!

shivisi wrote:


OK I gave in!, I DID update to pass the 90 mark-

BUT-

ALL THIS:







Doesn't really mean much to me!
I don't feel very Honor worthy-

So this is still relevant:
shivisi wrote:


So like they say:
It is whatever it is - so be it

Mazal Tov!!! (even though you're not interested, that's your business, I need to do mine)

May we all continue to grow together ONE day at a time!!!

Wouldn't you rather get a מזל טוב and not ח"ו a מז"ל רע (= Motzee Zera Levatala)?

So we should all be davening for a "Mazal Tov".

Besides, מזל טוב is very appropriate during the מ"ט ימי הספירה

(And last but not least, מ"ט also stand for...)

Machshovo Tova

shivisi wrote:


These statements to me are the most telling. What would mean a lot to you? What would make you feel honor worthy?

metalking wrote:



"Telling"???
What exactly do those statements of mine "Tell" you?

Yesterday I passed the 100 Days mark.
I's just a number that's all nothing more

shivisi wrote:


We can say a 'remez': 1+0+0 = one day (at a time) plus nothing & nothing more.

Hatzlacha

MT

of course it's just a number....just like my 140 (or 91 and 115 in the past)....but firstly, it signifies 100 days of livin' life, and secondly it might be a feelin' that you wanna continue.

Yes....one day/one moment at a time. We are not askin' of you to do some kinda jig, but for some people 90 days or 100 or 13 years is a milestone, and one that they wanna keep that way. If ultimately, in your honest to goodness mind it means nothin', so be it....why tell us about it? just keep on truckin' at the one day at a time routine.

bhatzlachah

shivisi wrote:


relax, chaver. mostly like you said, that youre unsatisfied with all this. I notice you didnt answer my questions. :-)