Hi. I am a married yingerman with a very nice wife and kids bh. my story started when I was a young bucher I always had much more teivos then the normal bucher. I would think of ladys the whole day. i would feel like i will explode. I had a bad friend who told me about phone numbers that i could speak to real people. I started doing this a little here and there. i then became addicted to this every possible time i would call. i am so embarrassed to say i am still addicted to this i cant stop. I had a time that i was doing internet porn also but bh i gave my password away, and anyways i have a very hard time getting online bh(cause my wife). I am going down and down every day, cause it is getting deeper and deeper the problem. i need to stop. i daven to hashem so much but i need to start doing more iyh. i am writing my story cause for me this is a big step. i am living such a double life that i cant imagine anyone finding out.(even though no one will know my reall name here its still hard) i got so much chizik hearing from some people that they spoke to people with the real name. i shiver even thinking of doing that. but for me even this is a big step, i am seeing more and more its not just the hashchosas zera that's a problem it is ruing every part of me. i feel if anyone would know they would look at me like dirt (which is true) so i am really working on it. and will come here as much as i could to get more chizik. we should have the nes of purim for each one of us peorsanaly.

Welcome to GYE!

Many on here have discovered that we were not looked at with less favor when we've told others about our issue.

You are not unique with this issue, you are not dirt, and you can make progress with the right tools if you are ready to work on yourself.

Looking forward to getting to know you better!
Hatzlacha!

Welcome Duvid! You have come to the right place. I was also nervous the first time that I posted. Now I have over 3,000 posts! I have spoken to other GYE members on the phone, and met a few in person.

You are taking a GIANT step in the right direction. There is help. Stick around. Keep posting. Read the handbook. Many have been in your position and worse, and they are in recovery today. It can be done.

You are brave. This is just the beginning of a wonderful journey. Keep posting.

You will IY"H be zoche to v'nahaphoch hu - to turn it around. From eivel to simcha.

afreilichin PURIM!

Welcome! Its nice to meet you!

Stick around, keep posting, chat with people. Reach out!

Check out Skep's tips They have greatly helped me!

Why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself? Have any hints to why you fall?

Welcome!!!!

Welcome Duvid!!!

It's really great that you have written this, let it out!! I relate with a lot of the feelings, and especially the one about it ruining my life. It's getting in the way of my true aspirations, the things I really truly believe are right, and that is really bothering me as well.

What have you tried to do in order to stop? Have you read the Handbook?

Don't be a stranger, we're all in the same boat, everyone has the same problems.

KOP (posting) and KOT!!

Duvid wrote:


oh how you bring back not such pleasant memories of how I shivered for a long long time before i started to open up. I'm still in the midst of starting and have a hard time sharing at meetings, but it was the best thing in the world for me and is a tremendous source of chizuk. Believe it or not I don't think they look at me like a piece of dirt and I even started to stop looking at myself like that usually.
We should all be zoche to nissim, but if they don't take away our problems maybe Hashem wants us to work on them and this is a great place to start.

Welcome!!

Duvid - Welcome on board. The first step for all of us trying to work on ourselves is to find the right path and people to work with!

Hey Duvid!
Just that you came here is a great thing. It is step one to your recovery Im yirtze Hashem. you will one day look back at the day you joined gye as your own private yom tov, because it was the day when you finally got the treatment tools to start overcoming your addiction.

I will give you an idea, try to make a certain time of day when you won't ever ever call those numbers no matter what.
start with a small amount of time, for example like between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.i f you have a taiva to call then,just say to yourself, not now!
then if you go by a while without calling during that time add a little bit to the time. You must do only a little at a time. maybe add 15 or at most 30 minutes each time, and add more after you were matzliach for some time to keep it.
If you fall during the time you set, don't get depressed just try again! if you see you cant manage after a few times, make the time less and go on from there.
keep moving forward a little bit at a time!
Every day that yyou pass your set time without falling is a win!!
Hashem wll help you because he will see that you are actively trying toget better.
Hatzlocho raba!

thank you to everybody for your chizik. Shivisi I am thinking how to do your idea, it sounds very good. I think I should do it at the time of the day that it is easiest for me to call. I will bezras hashem do it soon. a big thank you for the idea.

Duvid - Shivi's idea is a great one, for starters. Every bit counts. See how it goes for you.

One point to remember is that for many half measures will not work. In other words, a total transformation in mindset is needed and as long as the drug is used sometimes, it can come back to take over. Our goal is to start thinking differently - which is part of the 90 day challenge.

Duvid wrote:


Did you?
So how's it working out so far?
I wish you great hatzlocho!
Keep winning!!