בס"ד

i usually post only on the hebrow forum but sense it's down ,i'll have to post here sense i reall need help fast.
i'm sorry in advase for my misspelings i have Dyslexia that really effects my english writing,so i hopeyou'll undrestand me anyways.
ok,so the thing is i am struglin with really strong bordom issus,i can't seem to be able to do anything for long that needs effort,forthermore i seem to "enjoy" only doing things that get my minds as much off real life as possible,enjoy in the sense that it gets my mind off realety for a moment at a time so that in that moment i forget for a secund that i live here and not in the movie/tv program/ete' that i use for that purpese exsctly.
i wish i was able to enjoy lerning tora(i did for some time)and anything else promissible for that matter.
this proble is what shaped me to an addict to such stuff mentiond in this forum,but for whatever reason(i like to belive it was my prayrs,i prayed of it to go away for me to enjoy tora agen)when i grow out of puberty and the distraction wasnot strong as before i could stop and i did,the agony of doing it was stronger so i did.
now whenever i can't seem to find somthing that intrests me on the web i fall in to a deep sadnes and frustration and evetualy look for somthig to do even the smallest change,and so i fall back to this hellhole of sexuall stuff knowing fully well that i'll get ever more frustrated afterwoard only to get a little more time of not suffering ,it's a kid of sueside,a mental one. if by the nexst day i woldnot wake up with that filling goon and the craving of more movies ete' back ,i don't know what i will do.
so i'm here for one of tow things :
1.help me out of this by some mirecle way out.
2.give me somthing else to do that will get me outside realety that is better then the stupid sexual stuff that by the end of them you fill ever worst.what i like about movies and liked about tora in the past(now this effect thosnot exsist) is that ever after the exprieance you fill you take somthig withm you,even if it's just a good filling. but now it's all goon.
so please help!!!

p.s
i do see a therapist and no it dose'nt seem to work.
i call it boardom becuse thats how i exspirience it. i know it could be diagnost as much other things.

WELCOME jhhctu! I'm sorry I don't have too many words of wisdom. Hanging out on this forum can help with boredom . Stick around!

Hello jhhctu,

I am giving you advice, but really, I am giving myself advice. Boredom is a feeling (or lack of feeling) of being disconnected from life. From being disconnected from who really are, and most definitely being disconnected from our true purpose to serve HKBH.

Do you know what the solution is? Yiddishkeit has built in the solution to this problem. It's called Davening. The problem is that Davening is very difficult. I'm not talking about saying the words - that's far too easy. I mean talking to Hashem!

So, jhhctu, take one possuk from Davening that you like. Go through each word, making sure that you understand it. Then think about it for a minute or two. Then say those words. It might take more than once.

I know that "you are not in the mood". That is exactly the illness of boredom. And as long as you are waiting to fall into the mood, you will not overcome boredom. We must take the steps climb out of this negative mind set.

Try it. You might like it.

Much Hatzlacha to you,

Lemanchem

Welcome jhhctu!!!

Yes boredom is a big trigger for me as well.

One thing I did which helped me stop playing online games, is the following:

I would always remember things afterwards and say "shoots, why did I just waste all of that time?! I could have done A, B, C, or D!!!!"

So I decided to write myself a list of those things that I always remember afterwards, and when I would feel bored, and want to sit down to the computer I'd first pick something from the list and do that for a little bit.

That helped me a lot. That's all I can offer.

But as gibbor said, keep in touch here as well!!!!

And Lemanchem, you may enjoy this thread.

KOT everyone!!!! KOMT!!!

Boredom , and being alone, can be huge triggers. Try taking a walk, going to a gym, or learning something different.

Boreom can really strike when you are alone. My Eshes Chayil will be visiting our daughter, SIL and aineklach the week of Xmas. The fact that I would be physically alone in years past would definitely send me prowling for porn and opportunities to masturbate late at night. This site helped me get through her last trip when our most recent grandson was biorn, and really gave me chizuk to enjoy a very special Shalom Zachor and Bris.

Pidaini wrote:


Are there no kosher games? Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire are great. Most old games are good.

Can I find these games without running into the non-kosher stuff?

Welcome. I'm a bit new here. Started on this journey properly a few months ago but life is already so much better. I can totally relate to your boredom issue. I know if I'm bored and hanging around the house then it's only a matter of time before I was back to my old ways (which is why filters on my computer have been so important for me).

But I find one of the tricks as well is to know before-hand when you will be bored. Then you can make arrangements to avoid that boredom. Like there are certain times when I try to make sure that I'm not home alone, because I know I will find nothing to do, get bored, etc. So I might go over and visit my parents then, or something like that.

Just a tip I found useful!

R76 wrote:


Any game is taking away from real life, whatever the game may be. I found that computer games were the most disconnecting.

בס"ד
thanks for everyone that replyed,my problem is that i don't seem to enjoy other stuff,but latly i was thinking that it's probably come back if i wont have net acses,so i devised a way to block acses to my pc,but i still wonder how much i shold block...
and it's more a problem of computer use then one of קדושה.

so you still have connection? or not?

It would seem to me tough, that if you don't have a plan of how to fill that gap, void, that all the time and excitement on the computer was giving you, then you will likely just run to another "escape".

Do you have an idea of what you could do?

Well, focusing on your problem is apparently not working and why should it? It will probably be like holding your breath, even if it does work for some time.

So how about learning to focus on what you are doing that is real life - living...rather than focusing on what you are not, or should not, be doing?

Being bored is a sign of a difficulty with really living. No wonder porn and masturbating become bigger and bigger temptations then. For they are surfire ways to feel really alive. Philosophizing about what's 'real life' or what's 'worth it', etc., will not help. Getting involved with real life is a skill that can be learned, slowly and with help.

You are seeing the therapist - use him (or her) for everything they are worth. Ask for help to learn how to really live life and not run from it.

Much of the time people spend running from aveiros, is really just dressed up that way. We are really just running from ourselves and from life...but we add aveiros to the mix and convince ourselves we are running from something else.

I work on this each day, as do most guys in recovery.

Like Pidani - Keeping a list of what you need to take care of in life. When you start thinking about being alone or bored, or in a rut, you can pick up the list and grab something from it.

Thanks for your post Dov. That is so VERY true.