Hi all...

I was 40 days clean... and I fell last week.
Since, I fell 2 times, and I have now all those horrible images that come into my brain all day long. Even when I am with my wife !

And today it was horrible at my work : fall again and again, 3 times, impossible to stop, running every 2 hours at toilets to do it

I just want to stop but I don't succeed to !

I don't know how to encounter my wife tonight after the work, and to see her face to face, I just want to escape anywhere...

If is 20 minutes before the shkia in France, I am trying to seek the force to do Minha... Not easy

Use this as a stimulus to help Shalom Bayit.

Go home, spend time with your wife, listen to her.
Use the energy you have to show her how you love her.

Then follow advice from more experienced forum members, maybe go to a Sex Addicts anonymous meeting or get a therapist?

See if you are deeply unhappy, or if this is a Yetzer Hara tormenting you?

And talk to Hashem.
Go to a park, or just in your room.
Talk to him from your heart.

Bon Chance.

I have some stress actually : apartment problems, some big deals with my mother...
But the big stress was last week, when we came back from vacation , and the return to all theses problems.

I think that lead me to the fall...
But after, I clearly think that Y'H is tormenting me. I am struggling every day, I have the force to fight again the lust... but I fall.
This day, after all this week of struggle, I "abandoned", like a despair against the Y'H : "So you want me to do this ! So I will do it !"

I want to go a meeting, but I don't know if they exist in French :/

I am listening to your advice, It gave me a little strength to do minha in a reunion room, I will talk with Hashem...

Back, I did Minha, but I could not pray well or to speak to Hashem, I felt too "far" from it all, and no words came out of my mouth ... Oh my g.d

Commit to one clean day.
Really clean.
No peeking.
No fantasizing.
No mental images.
Surrender all lustful thoughts to Hashem, asking him to take your lust.
Every time they come.

Sexaholics Anonymous International Central Office:

E-mail: saico@sa.org

I just arrived at office this morning, I am just concentrate on the moment, listening to some music and doing my work...

I am following your advice, I hope that this day will be clean and calm B'ezrat Hashem

I am leaving the office to go home for Shabbos...
Baroukh Hachem ! This day was clean with no thoughts at all, only concentrating on my work. The first entirely clean day since a week !

I hope this will continue the next week
I must not think at monday, I must take a day at a time : but this is a little difficult, I have some fears about this and the following days...

Thanks for your help, it's so unvaluable... Good Shabbos !

Great Job!! KUTGW!!

About those fears, we all have them, they are natural. What helps me is realizing that they may be valid fears, but they have no place in the present moment (unless I can do something about it now). So I just "let go" and continue with the what I was doing.

KOT!!! KOMT!!

Today, I am at my sixth day of clean.

Barukh Hachem, I continue... I had some thoughts of lust and some little desires, but they have not lasted too long.

Often, my difficult moments are at day 25-30... I have some time to prepare

I have no fear now, just take a day one by one

wow
just keep it up tzadik

David26fr wrote:


hatzlachah onward

I am also on day 6 (after a fall on day 115, after a big fall on day 60).
what do you do to those thoughts when they enter your mind?

thanks and hatzlachah

Great to see how good you do, after a fall we need to stand up, if i was able to stood up after a fall of years, i will be able to get up again bez"h.

One thing we should never forget: talking to hashem is easy, he is very close to us, what do you think, he is close to a goy? he is close to us, כי רוצה ה' בעמו' he wants us, he calls us, and he will take us back soon!

cordnoy wrote:

When those thoughts are coming, I try to stop them before they are "installing" into my mind and I begin to fantasize on them. If I take too many time to react, it becomes more difficult to detach from them.

I don't try to fight them directly : I think to Hashem, and I ask him to take my battle, to do the battle for me because I am only flesh and the Yetser Hara is fire, and flesh is consumed by fire... I'm a dependant, and only Hashem can save me from lust !

If the thoughts insist, then I try to concentrate on a good memories (a walking with my wife, something with my children...) or on a music that I like. If I am in the train, I try to concentrate on the scene that is unfolding before my eyes (but in the subway, this isn't possible...)

For me, the important thing is not to concentrate on these thoughts, and especially, not to fight them face to face (it's like somebody that says to you "do not think at an elephant" and, inevitably, you think at an elephant even if you do not want...)

I had some difficults moments when a no tzniut girl is in front of me in the transports, the thoughts could be too hard to fight... So I take my mp3 player from my pocket and I listen to calm music (like The Kumzitz Album of Shwekey ) and I concentrate on it.

Or I rely with all my strength on my toes, it take out for some seconds all these thoughts from the head, it's like an emergency button.

Those tricks work for me when the thoughts are just coming. It the thoughts are installed in your head and you are fantasizing on them, I think this is a little late for all these tricks, and it's time to move on to stronger measures...

abe68 wrote:
Thanks
I try to talk to Hashem many times, especially in the difficult moments, because in these moments Hashem is more near to us, although the Yetser Hara wants us to believe otherwise :Hashem wants that we call him for help, with all our strength !

David26fr wrote:


We need to know what the pusik says קראהו בהיותו קרוב' and chazal say the this is specially בעת צרה, when a person feels he is in a problem hashem is closer to him. קרוב ה' לנשברי לב, hashem loves the one with a broken heart!

we are all broken hearts, but good yidden, we will work our way all-the-way back to hashem!