The first time I 'fell' after YK, it was quite a struggle and the second time too, but lately its been much less of a struggle....how do I get the momentum back? I know, it would help if I had a bunch of days under my belt, but since thats not the case right now, how do I 'reset the clock' so to speak?

Pick yourself up off the floor-and try again-just go one day at a time forward and don't look back. I think that one you start dredging back memories of either porn or masturbation, etc, you are bound to fall. That's what happened to me any time previously without the help of GYE-a site unlike any other in the Torah world. so, keep on posting, and reading the emails-I can't tell you how much I am in awe of everyone who has posted here. Also-try to keep yourself busy-either learn or take a walk, or join a men's only gym.

It'll take a massive commitment, to stay clean RIGHT NOW, whatever will happen or whatever happened.

As SIB wrote, one day at a time. that means letting go of the past and certainly of the future, it's irrelevant. only now, and now, and then NOW.

KOPosting!!! KOT!!

Absolutely, the only way to gain momentum is to put one foot in front of the other one at a time day by day.

In order to get from 0 to 60, you have to pass 59 (whole) numbers in the middle. There is no shortcut.

To me another word for momentum is power. If only I would have the power not to act out! It is just a matter of getting back the momentum and then I will be fine, because acting out Is really something which is not me at all; something which is totally foreign to me! So if I get back to myself, everything will be fine.

Sorry for being so cynical, but I am really saying it for myself. I was also convinced that if I would get past the hurdle of the first few times, than I would lose the urge to act out.

I learnt the hard way that it was probably the most naive thing I ever believed; and I believed it again and again.

Even after I started going to SA and I said over and over again “Hi, my name is Chesky and I am a sexaholic” I did not grasp, what I was saying.

Today I thankfully am aware and accept that I am addicted to lust. Acceptance means that I will never be able to rely on myself to stay sober. And acceptance means something much more to me; that my Abba created me with an addictive mind, which is convinced to death that masturbation and whatever I use to climax, is something which I cannot live without.

And so, no amount of momentum is going to prevent me from acting out. Just admitting powerlessness and turning my life and will over to His care, one day at a time.

chesky wrote:


Power vs. Powerless

Do whatever it takes to get a start. Distract yourself, get out and do something. You'll look back and see that it passes quickly once you start. Then work on each day at a time. KOP