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TOPIC: Tryin' 266017 Views

Re: Tryin' 26 Dec 2014 02:17 #245780

  • yidtryingharder
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שקר החן והבל היופי אשה יראת ה' היא תתהלל
Hashem these lustful thoughts are not mine I don't need them or want them please take them from me so I can live a happy and healthy life

Gotta roll with the punches or the punches will roll all over you

yesterday was
tomorrow will be
the only thing you can change is the moment you see

keep smiling and keep busy

"lust is fire to dynamite don't get close" from someone don't remember who

The worst thing i did to myself was lie to myself for 2 whole years

I try not to hate it takes way to much energy

Re: Tryin' 26 Dec 2014 03:37 #245792

  • cordnoy
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As I said when I got engaged: Sheker hachein v'hevel ha-yofi, but it sure damn helps!

Little did I know that either way, it would make no difference to me.
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Re: Tryin' 26 Dec 2014 04:32 #245797

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Well...we made up on zos Chanukah that we will work on bitachon stuff.
so, the first page of Shaar Habitachon says some interestin' thin's, and especially to an addict.
1. One who places his faith (bitachon) in Hashem will be worry-free; i.e., he will have menuchas hanefesh - ultimate contentness. So, who doesn't want that?
2. If you do not have bitachon in Hashem, two things occur (one automatically, and one by God's will - this is my addition; don't know if it's accurate).
A. you will have bitachon in somethin' else (seems he's saying that this is a fact, and thus, I am sayin' that it's automatic). Now, we like to say here that us addicts are worshippin' lust, and that Sex is our god.....somethin' to think about.
B. One who places his bitachon elsewhere, Hashem removes His hashgachah from him, and places him in the hands or power of that or whom that he placed his bitachon in. (Is that automatic, or is that God's Will? Additionally, is this a punishment, or somethin' else?) This itself can explain a lot. One who worships lust, God places him in the tongs and the grasp of the lust Queen; is there, no wonder then, why it is so difficult to wiggle loose? How can it be done? By surrenderin' to God! My goodness! Let's stop here, before we ruin a productive post.

b'hatzlachah
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Re: Tryin' 29 Dec 2014 09:46 #246029

  • skeptical
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Who says a predator can't be an addict?

Some predators may have other personality disorders that may cause them to abuse others, but for other predators, perhaps it's an addiction that progressed to that stage.

Re: Tryin' 29 Dec 2014 10:20 #246032

  • serenity
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There is an online article that discusses the issues at length. I don't know anything about the credentials of the article or web site, but it seems to make a lot of sense. PM me if you want the link. TY
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
Last Edit: 29 Dec 2014 10:37 by serenity.

Re: Tryin' 01 Jan 2015 20:01 #246406

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There as a discussion someplace about Shabbos and some not havin' the desire to be mechallel Shabbos, and others sayin' that when it comes to porn and lust, they were mechallel Shabbos. There was a discussion in the teen section about Motzei Shabbos. There also was a post or two regardin' bringin' Lizhensk's Shabbos GYE weekly back into circulation. And hey, Shabbos is comin'!

I didn't search for those posts now, but I did notice that Zemmy once quoted a beautiful vort, albeit on the Chassidishe side, but it was very strikin' to me.

ZemirosShabbos wrote:
The passuk tells us "rak shivto yitein verapo yerapei," Rav Gamliel Rabinovitch, shlita, explains these words by way of remez. The letters of the word shivto spells out v'shavta referring to the great significance of our guarding and watching the holy Shabbos.

Even if a person is soiled from all of his sins and aveiros to the degree that he is considered "sick" spiritually, he just has to shivto yitein - give shivto, meaning, give himself over for Shabbos - to guard the Shabbos and act on this holy day as best as he can. Then, in that merit, it will be fulfilled with him verapo yerapei - he will be totally healed and cured from his "ailments." Indeed, Shabbos is in a certain respect equal to all mitzvos (Shemos Rabbah 25:12). Also, he adds, the reason the Torah wrote the word shivto in the singular and not plural, is as a personal invitation to each and every one of us individually, on his or her level, where he or she is holding, to watch and guard the Shabbos as best as each individual can.
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Last Edit: 01 Jan 2015 20:03 by cordnoy. Reason: "wasa very strikin' to me" sounded like a shmuel Kunda tape

Re: Tryin' 04 Jan 2015 21:24 #246538

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It was said regardin' a certain ancient artist: “He is best understood as having sought abstinence. . . . His control of sexual appetite was accomplished by his absolute devotion to his mission and to an obedience to the role he had assigned himself, which was to conduct a moral life.”
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Tryin' 05 Jan 2015 01:25 #246550

  • Shmeichel
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cordnoy wrote:
B. One who places his bitachon elsewhere, Hashem removes His hashgachah from him, and places him in the hands or power of that or whom that he placed his bitachon in. (Is that automatic, or is that God's Will? Additionally, is this a punishment, or somethin' else?)

the rambam in mora nevochim quotes:
hashgocho elyone (divine providence) is a result of dvekus, if you constantly attach your mind to god, then god will constantly watch over you, and make sure that everything turns to your good, and the opposite is a result from detaching your dvekus
and he says its sort of a punishment, the lenght of time with the non-dvekus streak, will compare to the lenght of time of the punishment etc...
when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas
put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Re: Tryin' 05 Jan 2015 01:42 #246552

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Does he say that it's punishment, or that it's a metzius?
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Re: Tryin' 05 Jan 2015 01:50 #246554

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medo keneged medo
i think its as punishment
when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas
put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Re: Tryin' 05 Jan 2015 01:56 #246556

  • cordnoy
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the son of the mechaber of the leiv tov - the pirush on chovas halevavos told me that its a metzius, but I hear the other way as well.
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Re: Tryin' 05 Jan 2015 02:09 #246558

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with all due respect
why cant it be both
as we all know that hashem is pure good
and everything that comes from him (which is everything) is pure good
so why do we have bad things in our life?
there are many answers to that
but the common answer is, that the bad is just done by preventing his goods to flow, thereby automatic if there is no light then it becomes dark
so medo keneged medo, as much as we detach from god, its an automatic punishment in exact like for like shadow
when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas
put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Re: Tryin' 05 Jan 2015 02:12 #246560

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I will pass on this one.

Thanks
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Tryin' 15 Jan 2015 02:40 #247205

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I don't have time to elaborate on this, but I find this graph/chart to be very enlightenin' in the explanation of our struggles....certainly in the initial stages. What do you think?


changepicture.jpg
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Re: Tryin' 15 Jan 2015 02:41 #247206

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And a brief explanation:

Stage 1 – Loss to Safety
In Stage 1 you admit to yourself that regardless of whether or not you perceive the change to be good or 'bad" there will be a sense of loss of what "was."

Stage 2 – Doubt to Reality
In this stage, you doubt the facts, doubt your doubts and struggle to find information about the change that you believe is valid. Resentment, skepticism and blame cloud your thinking.

Stage 3 – Discomfort to Motivation
You will recognize Stage 3 by the discomfort it brings. The change and all it means has now become clear and starts to settle in. Frustration and lethargy rule until possibility takes over.

The Danger Zone
The Danger Zone represents the pivotal place where you make the choice either to move on to Stage 4 and discover the possibilities the change has presented or to choose fear and return to Stage 1.

Stage 4 – Discovery to Perspective
Stage 4 represents the "light at the end of the tunnel." Perspective, anticipation, and a willingness to make decisions give a new sense of control and hope. You are optimistic about a good outcome because you have choices.

Stage 5 - Understanding
In Stage 5, you understand the change and are more confident, think pragmatically, and your behavior is much more productive. Good thing.

Stage 6 - Integration
By this time, you have regained your ability and willingness to be flexible. You have insight into the ramifications, consequences and rewards of the change -- past, present, and future.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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