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the void

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TOPIC: the void 44293 Views

Re: the void 11 Apr 2013 22:59 #204940

nitzotzeloki OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 311 Karma: 11	doing both
	i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response. finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: the void 12 Apr 2013 01:13 #204957

Machshovo Tova
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nitzotzeloki wrote:

getting good food in yeshiva is rough. the zman started again and i have zero interest in learning. if im not learning i need something to do with my time or im in trouble...

Machshovo Tova wrote:

Reminds me of a true story:

There was an old-time Rosh Yeshiva in Ponovez Yeshiva, Reb Dovid Povarsky zt"l (father of Reb Berel Povarsky Shlit"a). He was a big tzaddik and a big matmid. He had a very laid back personality. Like when he said a shiur or a shmuz, he would speak in a monotone without any emotion at all. Once a bochur came to him seeking for some chizzuk. "Rebby, what should I do? I have no cheshek to learn", said the bochur. And Reb Dovid replied - in a monotone, as usual: "Ich - leren - shoin - zibtzig - yohr - ohn - cheshek." (I'm learning already seventy years without emotion.)

I'm sur Reb Dovid never heard of the expression "Keep on trucking". But he did it for seventy years straight.

MT

Re: the void 12 Apr 2013 13:31 #204984

nitzotzeloki
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@ MT thanks for the thought (i think) but learning for 70 years without emotion? not something im interested in. i know theres the whole kabalas ole thing but realistically if im not getting sipuk in yidishkeit thats a major problem for me. especially learning. im trying to find a solution. maybe its time for me to leave full time yeshiva and do something more active and involved. im being meyaetz with people but i have this crushing fear of change and a lack of faith in myself. i am trying to keep in mind that what i am going through is tailor made for me by Hashem as an opportunity for me to face my fears overcome them and grow, and that i cant do it alone.

i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: the void 12 Apr 2013 19:06 #205019

Machshovo Tova
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I hear. Hatzlacha in finding what's right for you. I can only speak from my own experience. I don't 'really' enjoy learning. But I kept at it for many decades, cuz I believed it's the right thing to do, and B"H I accomplished quite a bit. Similary, I do not always enjoy staying away from lustful situations, but I try to behave appropriately, and B"H I'm doing pretty good.

May Hashem bless each of us according to our needs, Amen.

MT

Re: the void 16 Apr 2013 17:19 #205191

nitzotzeloki OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 311 Karma: 11	just wanted to let you all know that B"H im doing much better now. im getting a lot of support and am in a much better frame of mind. (im even managing to learn a little bit) thanks to all
	i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response. finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: the void 16 Apr 2013 19:14 #205212

Machshovo Tova OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1230 Karma: 26	That's gevaldig! Keep it up & ENJOY! MT

Re: the void 16 Apr 2013 23:16 #205245

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	happy to hear hatzlocha
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ

Re: the void 17 Apr 2013 03:30 #205293

syataDshmaya Current streak: 155 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 88 Karma: 2	I started Jogging recently and it gives me energy and really helps. Maybe you could try it? It's rough at first, but if you just get going you'll see that you feel better, and it gets easier the more you do it:) I can totally relate to what your saying. Thank you for sharing!
	-I may fall eventually, but does it have to be today? -Trying to fill my God void with Hashem instead of more emptiness. -One time is too much, and a thousand times is never enough. -There is a small organ in man; when he satisfies it, it is hungry, and when he starves it, it is satisfied (Sanhedrin 107a)

Re: the void 17 Apr 2013 18:11 #205341

Machshovo Tova OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1230 Karma: 26	Kinda hard to jog in the summer with closed eyes. MT

Re: the void 17 Apr 2013 23:41 #205379

Pidaini OFFLINE Platinum Boarder פדני מעושק אדם-מיצר הרע העושק את הבריות-רש"י Posts: 2189 Karma: 107	Machshovo Tova wrote: Kinda hard to jog in the summer with closed eyes. MT if i'm not mistaken it's hard to jog in the winter with closed eyes also!!! NitzosEloki, i feel for you, hope you find the right thing to help you out!! have you tried learning out of the box things? i found that that helped me a little. hatzlacha!!
	Yankel \| My Ladder \| Talking to Hashem I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus. Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: the void 17 Apr 2013 23:45 #205380

reallygettingthere
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syataDshmaya wrote:

I started Jogging recently and it gives me energy and really helps. Maybe you could try it? It's rough at first, but if you just get going you'll see that you feel better, and it gets easier the more you do it:) I can totally relate to what your saying. Thank you for sharing!

I also started jogging a few months ago and it made a noticeable difference, I just felt better, more alert and more under control

Roy in the SA White Book noted that we frequently prayed and it did not work...because the best we could muster was begging G-d to "Please take it away, so I will not have to give it up!

No amount of sobriety can cure the insanity -ChaimCharlie

The emmes hurts but fake chizzuk will hurt more -Bards

Remember, best block, no be there - Mr. Miyagi

Re: the void 22 Apr 2013 17:36 #205733

nitzotzeloki OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 311 Karma: 11	played an intense game of soccer yesterday. sore as anything today but feeling good
	i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response. finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: the void 22 Apr 2013 22:49 #205756

Pidaini OFFLINE Platinum Boarder פדני מעושק אדם-מיצר הרע העושק את הבריות-רש"י Posts: 2189 Karma: 107	Who won?
	Yankel \| My Ladder \| Talking to Hashem I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus. Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: the void 22 Apr 2013 23:11 #205761

nitzotzeloki OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 311 Karma: 11	im not actually sure. i think us. it was more for the exercise and social contact than anything
	i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response. finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: the void 25 Apr 2013 18:55 #205962

moish u.k. OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Winning is a team effort! Posts: 341 Karma: 22	nitzotzeloki wrote: played an intense game of soccer yesterday. sore as anything today but feeling good Thats "football" in english.
	Last Edit: 25 Apr 2013 18:56 by moish u.k..