like what?

Maybe there are some friends you can hang out with for lunch. Or go to your favorite restaurant/pizza store and eat lunch or supper there. Once you get outside it gets easier to deal with the day. At least that's what works for me.

For me, a good night's sleep (followed by a good mikva) helps to get back on track.

MT

I really want to but I cant do it.. I feel like I dont know myself, I feel like somebody else. Im not myself right now.. and that freeks me out more..

I just want it to be tomorrow

My friend, hang in there. You haven't thrown it all away. Even though you fell you have still gained from all the hard work you put in up to that point. Each time you resist you are learning and reinforcing a new behavior, that you don't NEED the lust. It builds up, little by little, eventually you will see that it will be easier.

You can turn this into a positive experience. Try to think what pushed you over the edge and see how you can change things so that doesn't happen again.

In the meantime FSKOT & JTLR!!
_{Your homework is to find out what that means}

Is it normal that I want to cry every single time that I see these supporting posts?

Im a baby

It's pretty normal. It reminds me of the anti-whiner technique. You come home from work and your wife starts whining that she had so much to do and she is so tired (or you do it to her.) If you offer help, she is going to whine more because she tells herself "he is trying to help me, I really can't cope." If instead you repeat and paraphrase what she said and then pay her a compliment (accompanied by a sincere expression and voice) usually she feels better right away.

So it makes sense to me at least.

Ok question:

We all have our own lives, work, learning, family, responsibilities... Is this addiction so "important" to make it a priority? More than ever I'm feeling this double life... i mean, before discovering GYE I felt this way too, like I'm addicted to this and i have a life at the same time, but now all this recovery thing, the forum, the tools, the phone conferences.. its a weird mix...

How can i make this a priority without making it.. I mean, this addicted guy that posting in this forum its just too weird, I dont know him...

And at the same time,.. too much people knowing about my addiction here (kept secret for many years) and at the same time, nobody knows about it!! Two completely different people.. one called "Antartic" and the other called "xxx"

Thnk G'd its time for Shabooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooos!!!

[Cue Captain Kirk....]

BTW How are you doing today?

Im in one of those days u feel like a normal person.. like if nothing never happened.. no lust, no desire...

I suppose that means REALLY GOOD

great... day 0

I was so sure I could control myself... dunno what happened. i thought i could do better than that... i fell so easy, so stupidly

I thought i was stronger

Consider trying what I wrote earlier. All you have to do is remind yourself that you have a choice, and only then choose not to lust. If you don't have the reminder thought, you will discount innumerable experiments that would show that you still have your power of choice. If you do have the reminder thought first, then you will quickly start to believe that that feeling of choicelessness is just a mental con. Worth a try, don't you think?

The truth is that I didnt try, maybe it can work but I dont think in anything when im about to mast******, i just want to do it and thats it.

I think you're right, the thing is to work on that reminder thought, to really remind it before acting or falling. Thats why I wrote before, that I dont know the point of conciousness ppl have when the sexual desire arrives.

thx, ill work on it, ill start BH the Taphsic method also.

So here we go again, day 1 (wooohooooo...?)

No, try one or the other, not both.

The tapshic method creates the opposite belief, namely that you have no choice.