But gibbor, let me ask you- And this is after listening to Dr. Sorotzkin and his very accurate portrayal of me- What is the difference between an unhealthy perfectionist attitude and striving to serve Hashem b'lev shalem by bringing perfection to His world? I'm still not sure I can differentiate.

And Tehillim, at one point I started skimming what you wrote, but never got back to going through it, so thanks for the link. But to you, I ask: If we are all just a bunch of categories, then what bechira do we really have?! I mean everything I've struggled with growing up to understand how people work and think will all be for naught, if we are all just a bunch of different categories thrown together, and asked to make Shalom among ourselves. Then we really don't have ANY power over anything, no? I am ABCD with properties EFGH and I will interact well with IJ and K, but not L or M, oh NO, not M, he's a different breed.... ;D I know what you're thinking: P Quiet, will ya?!....

דעות
כתוב בהקדמת החינוך ששש מאות אלף הוא חשבון הכולל כל דעות האדם [מלבד טף ונשים]. וצ"ע דהרי אמרו חז"ל (סנהדרין דף לח) דמלך מלכי המלכים הקב"ה טובע כל אדם בחותמו של אדם הראשון ואין אחד מהם שוה לחבירו ושם דבשלשה דברים משונה כל אחד מחבירו בקול מראה ודעת. וידוע הלשון בתנחומא "כשם שאין פרצופיהן שוות כך אין דעותיהן שוות". ובהערות על החינוך הוצאת מכון ירושלים הביאו מהרמב"ן ורבינו בחיי דהא דאין אחד דומה לחבירו היינו אחד משש מאות אלף.

someone who has more mayim struggles more with lust

They feel like outsiders, somehow flawed and different from others,

they felt that their parents did not see them as they actually were

From childhood, Fours felt essentially alone in life.

Fours felt that if they could discover who they are, they would not feel so different from others in the deep, essential way that they do.

Fours also begin to develop a sense of ego identity based on their difference from others. There were few qualities in their parents that they identified with, so Fours began to inventory all the things that they were not—all of the ways in which they were unlike the people around them. Eventually, this sense of difference becomes a strongly developed and defended part of their self-image and many Fours have difficulty seeing the many ways in which they are like everyone else. To be "ordinary" becomes a frightening prospect, since a sense of "being unique" feels like one of the only stable building blocks of their identity.
Their disconnect from their parents also produces a longing for the "good parent"—the person who will see them as they truly are and validate the self they are trying to construct. Fours usually experience this as a longing for an ideal mate or partner. They will often project this role onto new acquaintances, idealizing them and fantasizing about the wonderful life they will have together. Unfortunately, as Fours get to know the person better, they become disenchanted, realizing that the other is not the "good parent" who will rescue them from all their problems. He or she is just another human being with flaws and shortcomings. The other’s "blemishes" soon become the focus of the Four’s attention, and they lose interest in the person. Before long they are back to their search and fantasizing again, but generally with less hope of finding the person "of their dreams."

They want to complete themselves by associating or merging with the valued other.