thanks for the chizuk everyone!
Mottel, ask your daughter if I can move to her country:-)
Today's been pretty good... One issue with reading a book I thought was clean and then arriving at some big no no's. It took a few seconds to realize what'sup; Then I was all confused because it was such a good book and I didn't want to put it down. I davened to Tatte to help me come out of this alive and healthy. I got ahold of myself and skipped to the clean part and continued. I guess I'm more ready and won't be caught off guard if another something comes up. It's really a "clean" book. You know those books that just give off clean vibes? You just know that any uncleanliness is a side thing. Anyway, it was a struggle because I wasn't ready and then afterwards, I was all depressed because it had taken me a couple seconds to stop reading the stuff and I had already been poisoned a bit. But I caught myself on that too, said KOT, and moved on.
Thanks Hashem!
Gotta still do my 15 min. of learning today and then I'll be all dandy :o