Wow this whole thread speaks for me and to me so much. I go through some of those same thought processes too when i see triggers and my YH tries to convince me to look a little. "C'mon you've been wanting it so bad your whole life, at least just let yourself enjoy looking...." NO!!!! When I look it's good for a second, then I feel rotten that I gave in. If I hold back, It hurts so much, but at the same time I feel good that I fought and won. sometimes i feel like I am being ripped in half, but I tell myself that the pain of not looking is good, healing pain.....

I am also cutting back alot on looking at newspapers and news websites. there are so many things that are bad for me to see, at least i can get rid of some of them.

Gevura!

Thanks KH - these are some meaningful sharings going on.  Someone noted this recently- but it seems the YH is making a strong showing with us dafka now.  I feel like I gave everything I had into Rosh Hashana davening.  Now I'm a little worried about that, as crazy as it sounds.  From the moment I came home after Shabbos, everything has fallen apart.  My wife has had a mood swing, my son has become impossible, work swept the rug out from under my feet, and the sadness has kicked in.  I worry at that point, because P&M are not far behind sadness in my personal experience.

I haven't given up yet, I feel that Hashem is testing me- as if to put me in 'the big leagues' because that where I was trying to hold on Rosh Hashana.  Did I go too far?  Did I reach over my head?  I feel if I can make it to YK without a fall on the P&M side, or without a blowout with anybody in my life- it will be a victory.

I think you're right, I'm having a harder time for the past week or so also.....

There is something very unhealthy for me when I have a very intense davening on rosh hashanah it is like I get caught up in feelings that is not reality based and when an addict is not intouch with himself it is trouble.
I have heard from Henoch that when you go to shul you can start thinking you are just like everyone else and then you think you can act like every one else.

So what is the aitzah, don't get intense for Rosh Hashanah?  I know I think I overextended myself, but what is the alternative?

Who is Henoch?

you must remind yourself  that you are a sex addict.Either by reading some literature or some other way.
Try to be honest with yourself ask yourself am I getting carried away into non reality land?Try to keep it simple and focused,maybe just focus on the pirush hamilim,not with all the in depth analysis sefarim just what they mean to you but move through the davening.
Henoch is a chashuve yid that is a sexaholic and is sober for along time.

Are you seriously telling people NOT to have as much kavannah as possibly in davening?  Seriously?!?

Sounds like the yetzer hara talking...

Im extremely impressed with your fortitude! If I may add one point. You're doing great on the סור מרע but you've got to find more עשה טוב ways to keep you busy. Even the title of your thread, losing steam, implies what i think is a problem that we all seem to have. We get inspired but then it wears off and we are susceptible to those temptations. We need to work hard at doing things that will keep us out of trouble. KOT

My feeling is we should go into shul and daven and connect as much as possible, no holds barred.

If we're feeling a stronger Y"H, that doesn't mean we've been weakened.  Adraba (just the opposite) we are on a higher spiritual plain, and our Y"H is rising to meet the new challenge.  The Y"H never goes away.  He's always a well-matched adversary (actually training coach if you read Reb Yid's letter from the Y"H).

I really don't want to post what I'm about to post. But I think it's probably good for me.

I just watched a few episodes of The Office. For those who don't know what it is, it's a sitcom.

My intention was not anything evil. I was invited to watch it by my sister. But... surprise, surprise. There were some words, scenes etc. that just weren't appropriate. Terrible? No. But I'm and addict. I shouldn't be getting anywhere near this stuff.
I just made a promise the other day (bli neder) that I would not watch anything that I wasn't fairly certain was clean. And that if I did, I would immediately stop if anything popped up. Well, I messed up on both accounts.
Any sitcom  these days has to have inappropriate stuff. And I didn't stop once some stuff came up. We skipped parts that were bad. But I should have completely stopped. Man, this is so difficult for me. It's not like I had a fall or anything. But I am so scared that one thing will lead to the next and I could fall.
I just feel like I don't have the strength to be serious enough. I feel like it's so hard to just say "no". Maybe I just need to take that first step. After saying it once, I'll be able to say it again, more easily.
If I don't want to fall, I really have to be serious.
So here goes, right now, I am making a hachlata that I will give 50 shekel to tzedaka if I don't stop watching something that has anything inappropriate, unless I know for certain that there are no more scenes. 20 shekel for tzedaka for watching something that I haven't researched and understood to be clean.
Hachlata good for until after succos.

kidushashem wrote on 05 Oct 2011 22:47:


Why don't you just try taking it one day at a time.  From experience it is very difficult for someone used to watching television to quit for the "rest of their life" but it's not that hard to stop for a day.  So for today don't watch anything.  We will worry about tomorrow, when tomorrow comes.  That's the approach you should start out with every day.  Hatzlacha.

wow, thanks! that's a really great tip! I take it one day at a time with the addiction to lust, so why not with movies!

The Wife was watching X-Men the other night while I was busy with a book on good husbandry in another room. I came out to ask her something and being the thoughtful thing that She is, she paused the movie. Too bad, the frame was that of a pretty woman's face. Just taking that one look at a freeze-frame reinforced in my mind the decison I made to not watch any miving pitures at all, no news casts, nothing. No billboard reading, no magazines. No Loehman's Brother's coupon books. No Costco catalogs. Call me an extermist, my life's more precious.
I saw a post by Bardichev where he says "no more looking in cars".
G-d knows, that's exactly what I used to do when driving a cargo van few years back - looking inside each car, trying to see a knee, or worse. Oh, how sick does one get, and how uncommon that is, after all! Even driving a sedan, I would stare and point out to myself all the pretty faces, and fantacise about what lies below. "Look, another pretty head", I would say.
As for me, I am not even 70 days clean, and I am not allowing myself to look at anything for my own sake. That's all I got.

thats gr8!
i cant see any other way forwards in life

"no more looking in cars"

does this mean I shouldn't look into people's houses anymore either?
what about their bank acounts?