Hello. Im new here. Just starting this now

Welcome, YeshivaBoy. Don't be shy, share your struggles, your doubts, your fears, and your triumphs. We are here to help and encourage you!

Gevura!

P.S. what am i doing up this late (or should it be 'this early')  ???

First of all, I'm a 16 year old yeshiva student.
I've had major issues for the past two years. I've seen things that I'm ashamed to repeat and I've done things with myself more often than i would ever admit in person.
I've tried stopping but NOTHING i do works. the temptation is unimaginably huge and its triggered by the smallest of things such as a sight or even a stray thought.
i have a filter on my internet which is a very good one believe me and my parents think its good enough. i would never tell them for fear of what they would think of me(even now I'm shivering just writing this) but the problem remains that i could get what I'm looking for whenever i want. i am desperately looking for practical help.
I've heard that masturbation is punishable by kares and obviously theres gehonim plus other things that i came across on this website yet i transgress this daily!!
I'm sickened with myself but it doesn't stop me. Im hoping i could get help here.

You are in the right place! we are all in the same boat with you.

Below is the official "welcome package" to this site, it has many tools to asssist you. Read the Handbooks and browse through the forum posts, you will see the many ways people here have learned to recover and grow

Hatzlacha!
Gevura

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

hey, younger brother, welcome! dont think so much of punishments, and certainly dont be disgusted with yourself. you are on the right track for wanting to stop, so read the Gye in the Nutshel, and take some proactive action. yasher koyach for putting yourself out like this, it takes character.

Yeshiva Boy, I was a 16 year old once upon a time. I struggled with the same things that you describe. I had ups and downs. Thinking about the punishment and the gravity of the aveirah didnt solve my problem. Unfortunately I didnt have this website to help me then. Take advantage of everything that is here. In my humble opinion GYE is the only way out of the muck that you find yourself in. Wishing you much hatzlacha. Always here to help in whatever way I can.
Gesher

Yeshiva boy it is great to see another warrior join the heilige GYE community. I'm slightly older than you so I can relate to you. Bchasdei Hashem we have found this website while we are young. Don't worry about the punishments at this stage it's not going to help - focus on growing and the positive. Hatzlacha

YeshivaBoy,
Welcome to our community.  I tried to stop hundreds of times when I was a teen.  This isn't something you can beat with just self control.  I assume you've been at this for a few years, which is plenty of time to become addicted.  Having a filter won't solve it.  Thinking about onshim won't solve it.  Throwing your head into learning won't solve it.  You need to use recovery techniques to get anywhere.  This means admitting powerlessness over lust, turning the battle over to Hashem, and avoiding triggering images and thoughts like the plague.  Read through the intro materials and pay attention to the 12 steps -- they work, and they are your ticket out.

Ask your questions here.
Hatzlacha!
Alex

Welcome!

The yetzer hora (using our voice) tells us that we can't stop, that we need this. Actually, what he says is, "I neeeeeeeeeeeed this!!!"

It takes time to learn that we don't. I never believed I could survive without it, and I went on believing that for years. I only learned how much of a lie that was in the last year or so.

So join us here, get chizuk, grow, and be proud of yourself!

And here's a secret - you should be proud of yourself right now, because coming here was a bold and courageous step  that many people are afraid to take.  Now just keep taking step by step. You were "az kanemer," you have the boldness to begin something big and important. Now keep up your strength (gibor ka'ari), and don't give up!

Hey Yeshiva Boy,

don't run away from all the old men

I'm not much older than you. I completely relate to what you're saying. You're in the right place. Keep posting. You can post smart and you can post stupid. It doesn't matter. (Look at my posts, you'll see ;D)

Love,

KH

YB, you have a TON of courage.  It is very normal to be scared and ashamed.  Here, you can be open and honest.  We won't think any less of you.  Actually, we will think MORE of you!  So many people here wish this site existed when we were 16, and that we had the courage to open up about our problem.  You have a lot of caring and listening ears here.  WELCOME!

Thanks to all of your support plus constant daily chizzuk, I've managed to have 3 clean days in a row so I'm going to try the 90 day challenge. this was a small victory but its something i havent been able to do on my own. i am also aware that the yetzer hara will try to use this to get me off my guard but i won't let him! IM"H i will soon be able to tell you about a bigger victory.

That's great!

I happen to think that 90 days is a good goal, for lots of reasons. However, it's important to remember that we live life "one day at a time."

This is not just a cute slogan, or a trick. It's a fact. You cannot live tomorrow, today. Today is today, and you can only do today's jobs. So, when faced with a challenge, remember that you only job is to stay clean today (or, if that's too difficult, for this hour). The yetzer hora oftens tries to trick us by saying, "I can't hold back forever! I can't give up this pleasure forever!"

But that's just a trick, because he's trying to force you to face an impossible challenge. Why impossible? We have tests and challenges that we're supposed to overcome every day. The Y'H, though, is trying to overload you by getting you to face not just today's challenges, but tomorrows, and next weeks, and next years...etc.

So, your only job, in sobriety and in avodas hashem, is to stay clean right now.

ditto on silent's words. you know for a guy who's fighting a silent battle, you sure have a lot of great things to say! 

YeshivaBoy wrote on 02 Oct 2011 05:51:

i often begin shivering, my whole body trembles before i start viewing p__n, does anybody else have this or it's just my holy neshama trying to stop me? similarly in the beginning when i began posting here i would shiver like the yeshiva boy here, was that my evil yetzer hara?