Welcome, Guest

losing my way
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: losing my way 8424 Views

Re: losing my way 15 Dec 2008 12:26 #1389

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 745 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6438
  • Karma: 138
Dear Holy Jew,

Don't let falls get you down. Battleworn just posted some AMAZING chizuk on this topic. Check it out here.

The yetzer hara wants your depression more than he wants you to sin. When you are down, he has you wrapped around his little finger. Insist to be happy. You are a ben melech!

By learning from our falls, we uplift them and get closer to Hashem each time!

Don't wait until you move. Get back up now and do a little dance against your nature!! Davka when you are in the worst situations and you still try - that's the most prescious Avodah! The pleasure you give Hashem in the darkest times is what brings the most light into the world. Like the Zohar says, there is no light that doesn't come through darkness!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 15 Dec 2008 18:19 #1393

  • jack
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 502
  • Karma: 10
an important aspect of this site is that a person gets up 7 times after falling BEFORE he becomes a tzaddik.it's only after the 7th fall/getting up cycle that he's called a tzaddik! falling is part of the process! but we have to get up.i failed for 38 years.i'm not at all saying that i'm a tzaddik, but i AM saying that i knew this posuk, and therefore i NEVER lost hope in myself.and then you know what happened? reb guard came along and i finally made it. and dont think it's easy either.when i'm feeling weak, i turn on 'jack's nigun' and i remember my accomplishments, and i get back on track.
the successful person, in ANYTHING, is NOT someone who never fell, it's the person who fell and then got up! and the failure is the person who fell but DIDNT get up.but you need help to get up - ayn chovush matir atzmo mebais h'asurim.the people on this site will help you get up - use them, that's what they're here for - they're not here for ANY OTHER REASON! call that phone line! call that phone line! heal! heal! heal!
reb guard, maybe give everyone who makes 90 their own niggun so they can use it to remember their accomplishment and pull themselves back when they are feeling weak? BESIDES the wall of honor? thanks again rebbe umori. jack
Last Edit: 15 Dec 2008 18:31 by .

Re: losing my way 15 Dec 2008 18:47 #1394

  • jack
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 502
  • Karma: 10
and more..
this is going to sound crazy, but many hollywood stars came from broken homes.alright, they went to a life of divorce, drugs, abortions, etc, but they made stardom! their names are up in lights! believe it or not, when i heard this, i said there must be hope for me.if they could do it, i could do it too.only i dont want their lifestyle, obviously, but i do want their rising from the ashes!
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 15 Dec 2008 20:14 #1398

  • elya k
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 254
Sounds like you need someone to talk to.  This is why a sponsor or people in a group is critical.
You haven't let anyone on this forum down.  This is normal for people starting out.  Each step
we learn something about ourselves.  Each slip should motivate us to explore the reasons we
act out and what caused it (resentment, anger, depression, loneliness).  Don't let the Yetzer
Hora convince you it's hopeless and you should just keep doing it. Instead stay strong and
start over.
Elya K was the first  GYE hotline moderator for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 6 books, among them Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets,  Ambushed by Betrayal: The Survival Guide for Betrayed Partners on their Heroes’ Journey to Healthy Intimacy with Michele Saffier. 


FREE EBOOK ON THE GYE SITE AT: Mask In the Mirror (guardyoureyes.com)

Elya K. has been coaching people worldwide for over 10 years for Shmiras Eiyanim issues. 
For a free 15 minute consultation call 901-248-6001.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 15 Dec 2008 23:30 #1412

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 745 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6438
  • Karma: 138
Jack, good point about making everyone their own Niggun. I will do that bl"n. Halevai we get more people to get to 90 days!

(although I promised already one guy on the forum to put up Ka-Echsof for him when he gets to 45 days :-)
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 16 Dec 2008 10:47 #1424

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 745 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6438
  • Karma: 138
Was that you who I promised it to? I forget. Remind me :-)
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 16 Dec 2008 12:30 #1432

  • battleworn
You didn't let us down at all. That's the way it's supposed to be. All of life is that way. Sometimes we fall, that's normal.

What separates the winners from the losers, is how fast you get back up and how well you learn from you mistakes.

Hashem wants our effort, our perseverance and our reliance on Him, not our success!

I also agree with the others that you should talk to someone.

CHAZAK VEEMATZ!!!
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 16 Dec 2008 13:07 #1433

  • battleworn
Guard, you promised the niggun to holy "be holy" but we're also waiting.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 24 Dec 2008 07:16 #1656

  • andsm1
hi i promised to update and i am

i am now on week 1 starting today

im gonna try to do this one week at a time or day as it really goes

anyway im one week away from a road test

if i pass and get my license i can get more work and if im driving all day the yetzer will have no chance to deal with me

i hope i do its the last part of 2 1/2 years of process

in the mean time i know usually these types of requests are usually on a diferent part of the forum but does anyone here wanna "buddy up" with me on email and not only deal with this issue but others like it on email too

let me know
Last Edit: by mynisayon.

Re: losing my way 24 Dec 2008 14:24 #1661

  • Mevakesh Hashem
andsm1,

One day at a time! That's the only way to triumph over the eveil Yetzer Hara.

Feel free to contact me privately anytime.

Chazak V'Ematz!
Last Edit: by elihelp.

Re: losing my way 28 Dec 2008 20:33 #1695

  • Avreich
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 237
  • Karma: 0
To the Guard shlitoh,

No it was not me that you promised the niggun to Koh Echsof to. But still, I would like to have it when you post it.
Last Edit: 29 Dec 2008 09:58 by .

Re: losing my way 31 Dec 2008 16:33 #1756

  • andsm1
i failed my road test

i feel real bad about it

any pointers on things like this here

maybe this is the wrong place for this but its whats affecting me now

Last Edit: by beisaleph.

Re: losing my way 31 Dec 2008 17:32 #1759

  • PostalServicio
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 184
  • Karma: 0
is there anything that you did wrong on your road test?

I wouldn't worry too much about failing to be honest...i made a mistake on mine (but didnt fail though). I do remember that i was very stressed...and driving at first seemed as foreign to me and trying to fly and fighter plane. But you start to get used to it, you start to get a feel for the car, you start to get a feel for how all of it work and fits together. And after some time, it becomes like second nature. It no longer involves so much thinking and worrying and stress. You just need to practice and start to feel confident. Don't get stressed out, just try again...and keep practicing...but don't succumb to fear and worry and feeling down.

Wish you the best of luck!
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 31 Dec 2008 20:34 #1760

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 745 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6438
  • Karma: 138
Are you going to give up on the road test? No! You can't afford to. You MUST pass, no matter what it takes. And that's what Hashem is teaching you here. Maybe that's even why you failed. He is showing you that that no matter how hard it seems, no matter how many failures you have, there is no such thing as giving up. We can't afford to give up. It's our eternity! When you accept you will never give up on fighting the Yetzer Hara, I bless you with the power of the GUE forum and Teshuvah going on here, that you will pass the road test and start to see much Hatzlacha in your life.

Everyone, I need all of your Amens!!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 04 Jan 2009 16:17 #1820

  • andsm1
has any of you ever been at a very low career point and had alot of kids to feed at the same time .............any pointers how to deal with the constant pressure to do better (get better jobs etc.) while you know that your doing what you can


im trying to choose a whole new career line that will keep me happy


im sorry i keep comin here off topic but i trust this place more bein anonymous an all

thanks for hearin me

by the way im 2 weeks into being cold turkey on not ......."you know"
Last Edit: by .
Time to create page: 0.46 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes