To yossi L, after falling I just get that feeling of you idiot that was so not worth it and then I would proceed to drown out the pain with more falling and Shultz. The morning after however is gehenim mamash. You've just got to do all the external actions necessary to get out of bed and daven but sometimes chitsoniyot meoreret pnimiyos and I would already be willing to get back up.

Ok! Here's a story from last nite...

So I make the BIG mistake of leaving and Internet enabled tablet device in my room and it's late at nite and I need to do a little research. Needless to say I find myself checking out some pareve content and so on so on. The yetzer hora proposed a deal - just " looking " no touching and I daven that tonite not to fall please Hashem.  Ok things deteriorate the contract is as usual violated and I decide tonite I'm letting go and falling. I get my tumadik video loaded and I'm ready to go. But before I get my hands filthy I need to say Kriat she a al hamita. I mumble it as quickly as possible. But then I'm just sitting on my bed and I have this sort of back and forth debate in my mind ( by now largely occupied by foreign forces) bechasdei Hashem yisborach I decided not to fall and instead a deal was reached that I will watch pointless YouTube videos but not fal

Continued..but not fall and Baruch Hashem you have no idea I've made it to day four. This morning as soon as I woke up I was so happy and even though I had wasted time it felt so good to still be "clean". Thank you Hashem and thank you to all the holy people of the GYE network
Tizkeh Lemitzvot

Good day today BH - day 5. I just daven that thing continue like this and not get worse.
Tizkeh Lemitzvot
yedid_nefesh

Awesome!  Great work!  What are you doing so things don't get worse?
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov

Ok  I fell on Sunday and Monday But it was a week streak - the longest in a while and very qualitataive. Day 2 today. Shemirat eiynayim has to improve for tomorrow with siyata dishmaya. Tizkeh lmitzvot
Yedid

Ok Baruch Hashem I'm holding on day 6 tonite. It has been real rough though. I keep slipping in and out of shemirat eiynayim. But BH all is well for now. Saturday nite I was up till 3: 30 watching YouTube videos instead of looking at other stuff and Sunday I was also up till late. on  thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that if I fight is hard for now but it will I hope get easier the next time.
Tizkeh Lmitzvot
Yedid nefesh

ok , i know i havent been on a while - its been for a whole lot of reasons mainly laziness. Anyway im back and today is BH day 3.

So two days ago i had i guess what you can call "a moment of inspiration". I walk into the beis and i just see this one talmid chacham and tzadik from my area just sitting there immersed in a gemara and i realised that he never got to where he is by sitting around on the internet. Which got me thinking about the amount of time i waste on the internet every day - and most days is only kosher stuff more or less. I dont want to the get into habits that for the rest of my life ill be forced check news for 15 minutes daily and then other pointless stuff and videos. So the new plan with Siayta Dishemayais to only surfe about 5 websites - this one of course, my two email accounts and other websites where i download shiurim from. I know the yetzer wont keep me too long on any of these cause they all full of kedusha. It hasnt been to bad so far without internet and iv probably saved already an hour and twenty minutes of my life in these two days. Im sure many people will be thinking what im doing is stupid and that i should rather limit myself per day but the truth is that I know myself and i think and hope that my system is the best for me.

Baruch Hashem day 6 today. Last night was an improvement in comparison to other Motzei Shabboses but I still almost crashed at the end. This morning was hard and I started to browse bad stuff but was disrupted and then decided to not continue. Was feeling a quite lustful this afternoon but browsing on the forums has calmed me down somewhat - will try get some exercise now to channel any excess energy in the right direction.
Tizkeh Lmitzvot