SO HERE I AM. THIS ELUL WOULD HAVE BEEN MY TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF FREEDOM from !@#$%, other than a few slips along the past few months.  Until last week that is. now i am feeling very vulnarable. the only reason I am on this sight right now is because i figured Ide turn on my computer and see whether I can find stuff to enjoy (despite my k9 filter which i noticed just does not seem to work).  This past week and one half, I fell several times.  Its a freaking sl;ippery slope with no avengence.  i mamesh felt like a free man finally. i am trying nopt to be depressed.  mnore scared witless that now hes got mne around his finger and im doomed.  Right now, i struggle not to close out and switch sites..... please help ii owe my life to guard and this sitre, back when it was brand new. please chizuk chevra i need despeartely please please. thanks

so here i am writing myself a reply.  the past two years it was so great, my freedom that is, that i grew to such a point, only with siyatta dishmaya and the help ogf GUE and guard himself, that it was not even a daily struggle for me.  In fact, I got through the 1st half of this summer and the ENTIRE last summer, not even going near any shmutz.  there is no better feeling in the world then that freedom, which in turn brought me light years closer to Hashem and keddussha.  YET, a little falling and now i am free falling chas vishalom, almost about to lose everything i gained, in an instant. i dont even know what to say i am so disgusted at this situation

All I can say is GET BACK IN THE TRUCK!!!

Don't look back at the falls you just had. Just start over and go forward, one day at a time. You know you can do it, you've done it before.

Hang in there, we're all with you.

Gevura!

thanks but i am lacking motivation. not fired up in the right direction

Motivation shmotivation

Get inta tha trukkk

Its a madduh of life an deff

I'm no playin wiff ya

I'm seeeeriuss!!

you got this far
GAM ZEH YAAVOR
but in the meantime
SAY TEHILLIM

"When you feel like letting it all go, remember why the heck you've held on so long to begin with!!!!!!!!!"

Good luck Chavar!!!!!

P.s. Making a call or going to a meeting might be helpful.

What have you been doing right the last two years?

What can you tell us about how to succeed?

What are the secrets?

Where is the genii?



I had been doing very well be'h for a long time. Then I began to feel shaky. I came here looking for someone to save me. Guess what? I am the only person who can save me. I need to get in touch with my spirituality or what ever else you want to call it (woodford). I need to be aware and not resisit. I need to connect, give and share.

I do not mean to be harsh, only share what I think might help.

Often when I feel I am starting to loose it the worry itself works me into a frenzy and I get weaker. It is then best to let go and realize that I am making myself worse.

Best of luck

please read my story

here is my fall


http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=450.1215

thanks for al;l the chizuk, but last night i fell again.  when in a downer, what is a number that I can call for help, etc. Please respond with some info or a link.
how do i gain the belief that despite the past week and a half of falling, i can truly possibly get back in the strong path.  I lack that belief, because i know the way the Y"H works. please help.
BTW: Thanks to all for the chizuk

This link will take you right there to bards fall --> LINK

thank you. I mean live help in the phone. Does that exist.  That may have been my only hope last night

There is a hotline here http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/hotline/Hotline.asp, but it sounds like you need to get a partner, which you can get here http://www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=1823.

I wish you hatzlocho in getting back up.  YOU WILL GET BACK UP.  Then, never let your guard down, never feel "healed", "better", "free".  Once you feel you are "cured", that's when trouble starts.  We're here for you, my friend.  Many of us have been exactly where you are right now.

THANKS FOR THE CHIZUK AND THE LINK. I FILLED OUT AN APPLICATION FOR A PHONE PARTNER. I THINK I NEED THAT MOST NOW.
i GOTTA SAY: I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS BEING BACK ON THIS SIGHT AFTER SO LONG.  OF COURSE, I CAN'T STAND THAT IO NEED TO BE.  THAT SAID, THE CHIZUK THAT MAKES UP THIS SIGHT AND THAT E/O HERE OFFERS IS INCREDIBLE.
THANKS.
IT PROBABLY STARTED UP AGAIN BECAUSE OF MY BEFGINNING TO "JUST GLANCE" THROUGH THOSE "NOT SO BAD" MAGAZINES WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING.  PROBLEM IS THAT WE I CANT FOOL ANYBODY AND MY GUARD WAS DOWN JUST ENJIOYING SOME PICS.  THAT LEAD ME TO WORSE ETC ETC ETC.