One of the elements of maturity is being able to anticipate the future. A person starts maturing when he discovers that the future will come, and the more this realization becomes part of him, the more he matures (Rabbi Shafier, Two Worlds One Chance, pages 162-165). When we make decisions, we must factor for the future and calculate the likely outcomes of each choice. The first step is to wait a second and remember that the future will come. Then, we can determine which option will leave us best off.
Desire makes us feel that the future will never come. This is how when we face a challenge, we don’t think about the obvious fact that the moment of pleasure is short, while the rest of our lives will hopefully be long. “Don’t think about tomorrow. You need this right now!” the yetzer hara tells us. “Now is all that matters. This is the greatest thing in life! You’ve just got to get it! It will raise you above everything. You will feel so lucky to experience it and you will be happy.”
Of course, the yetzer hara lies. Tomorrow does come, and it comes quickly. The pleasure lasts for but a short time, and then the rest of our lives comes. We then have to live with the letdown and emptiness that comes from realizing that physical pleasure couldn’t make us happy.
Pleasure is not what we really long for. Growing up, we long for something but struggle to put a finger on what it is. The yetzer hara hijacks these feelings, telling us that what we seek is physical pleasure. Then, after we indulge and enjoy for a short time, we realize that physical pleasure wasn’t what we sought. We feel a painful emptiness, and doubt that we will ever find what we seek.
This is because we really seek a different type of pleasure. We feel lacking because we long for meaning. We seek the emotional pleasure of knowing we are doing something significant. We want to make a difference. We want to do something that we will think highly of. We want to become great.
It is important to focus on these desires rather than denying them. Wanting to become special and important is good. We just must not assume that after five minutes we have arrived there, which will cause us to grow complacent. And we must not become arrogant, looking down on others or relating to Hashem as if He needs us instead of us needing Him.