Thursday, 01 June 2017

Matan Torah

by Yechidah (See all authors)

When I was seven years old I had the privilege of hearing the Chavler Rov, one of the biggest Geonim [geniuses] in the world. He said to my father, imagine that a big Rosh Yeshiva is walking down the street. Suddenly on the other side of the street there is a very beautiful girl standing? Will he stop and ask, who is this girl? Boaz is coming to his field, with all his chassidim. Boaz was the Rebbe. And he asks, "Who is she?" [Ruth II:3]. The Midrash says, he saw the Schechina on her face. Where would Meshiach be if Boaz hadn't stopped?

The Chavler Rov said to my father, `With all the Rosh Yeshivas together, we don't have one Boaz.' He says, "I don't know anybody who would have the guts to stop and say, `Who cares what they think!'" Do you know what Meshiach is all about? Azus d'Kdusha. I don't care what you think. I love you.

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11 Sivan 5750, Mishkanot, Jerusalem

Matan Torah (the giving of the Tora) is not what I see...it's not what I know. The Tora is with us always, forever...because the Tora does not depend on how much I know the Torah. Sure I should learn it, hopefully. But the Tora is...inside of me. It's like shtei halechem (the two Temple shewbreads), it's One.

Shavuos is Yom Matan Torah (Day of the giving of the Tora) not Yom Kabbalas haTorah (Day of the Receiving of the Torah.) When I'm learning Torah, I'm mikabel (receiving) the Torah. On Shavuos, I just can't believe it, I can't believe that the Ribbono shel Olam [The master of the World] gave me the Torah. Shavuos night, the way we prepare ourselves for the Torah is not learning the Torah.

`Zayin' comes from the world `zreezus', fast. Matzah is fast. "We left with great speed from the land of Egypt" this is the zreezus of matzah. mochin d'Gadlus (higher consciousness.) What's Matan Torah all about? `I have no idea'. "Na'aseh v'nishma"

Chodesh Sivan always begins after Parshas B'chukosy. The shem (name) of this month [of Sivan] is `V'Yisodosov U'l'tselah HaMishkan'. The Ishbitser says...the `shem' comes from our putting the nails in the Mishkan. To put in nails, there has to be absolutely no empty space. [Otherwise the nail will fall out.] He says, Receiving the Torah means, There is not one empty space left in my heart.

The `Zayin', the fixing of the `zreezus' of Shavuos is much deeper than `fast'. On Shavuos I bring chamets. We bring an offering of new wheat to the Holy Temple. Chamets basically is slow. I just have Yiddishkeit in my heart. I better learn, and learning takes time. So the karbon (sacrifice) is `shtai halechem'. The two loaves. You have to learn. But the deepest depths, is not what's happening down here, it's in heaven. What's happening inside. In the heaven of my neshama. It's not Chamets...it's the letter `zayin', fast. The Ishbitser says, What is `teomim', the twins? The twins are my conscousness and my... superconsciousness.

On Shavuos it's clear to me that even if I'll never know even one letter of the Tora, gevalt, am I close. Why was the Torah given in the desert? If I'm all alone in the desert, and suddenly I meet another friend... We mamash stood at Mount Sinai, Three million people, and we loved each other the most. Imagine if you could have this kind of joy.

Reb Leibele Eigar says, `Imagine I'm in the desert, but I have in my hand a map of the desert. This map will show me how to get out of the desert. How much am I watching that map? This is how much I have to guard the Torah. Without the Torah, without Yiddishkeit, I'm lost forever; there's no way for me to put my life together.

The `Etz HaHaim' (Tree of Life) is the `YUD VAV' shining right into me. The way a child knows, `this is my mother, this is my father'. And the way parents know their children. You know G-d is asking us, `Who will take the guarantee that you will keep the Torah?' Our children will be the guarantee. Because my children remind me, that the way I know my children, this is the way to know the Torah.

What is Ruth all about? The YUD VAV. The Torah is shining. When I was seven years old I had the privilege of hearing the Chavler Rov, one of the biggest Geonim [geniuses] in the world. He said to my father, imagine that a big Rosh Yeshiva is walking down the street. Suddenly on the other side of the street there is a very beautiful girl standing? Will he stop and ask, who is this girl? Boaz is coming to his field, with all his chassidim. Boaz was the Rebbe. And he asks, "Who is she?" [Ruth II:3]. The Midrash says, he saw the Schechina on her face. Where would Meshiach be if Boaz hadn't stopped?

The Chavler Rov said to my father, `With all the Rosh Yeshivas together, we don't have one Boaz.' He says, "I don't know anybody who would have the guts to stop and say, `Who cares what they think!'" Do you know what Meshiach is all about? Azus d'Kdusha. I don't care what you think. I love you. If I know this is right, I'm doing it. You know where this strength is coming from? This is YUD VAV, the deepest Torah in the world.

Every word that Ruth uttered...came from the deepest depths of her neshama. Every word is Torah. David HaMelech is the master of Tefilla (prayer). It's the same Torah, it's the Torah of the deepest depths of life. You now the difference between learning and davening, praying the Torah? Someone asked Reb Nachman, `Can you please tell me the secret of Tsitzis?' He replied, `If you'll cry as many tears as there are threads in the Tallis, then I'll reveal to you the secret of Tsitsis'.

I heard from the Bobover Rebbe, that a few years before the Second World War, there was a big convention in Poland of all the big Rebbes. And they were talking to each other, what are we going to do when the Messiach comes? How are we going to greet him? Gevalt! It would have been interesting to know what every Rebbe said! The Bobover Rebbe said only what his father said, the Holy Rebbe Ben Tzion. He said, `When Meshiach is coming I will not be ashamed to walk with my Yeshiva to greet him. Everybody will carry his Gemorrah, his Kitsot HaChoshen in his hand, and Meshiach will open the Gemorrahs, and he will see that every page is wet with tears.' Not tears of pain. So deep. A different kind of learning...This is the learning of David HaMelech. Meshiach learning.

When Ruth wanted to convert, Naomi said to her, "You are the daughter of the King of Moab, if you convert you lose it all." So Ruth says, `I'm only going where you're going.' Then Naomi says, "If you convert you will have to observe the Mitzvas". Ruth says, "Wherever you sleep, I will sleep." Then Naomi says, "If you are a non-Jew and do not keep the Mitzvas, nothing will happen to you. But if you become a Jew and do not keep the Mitzvas, you will be punished." And Ruth says, `Wherever you die, I will die. I'm ready to die."

And you know this is not `Chametz knowlege'. This is not even `Shtai HaLechem' knowlege. This is, `I don't know anything, I just know I have to be there.' And everybody knows, this is David HaMelech. King David, the great grandson of Ruth.

Sadly enough, we are living in a world where we think doing `Tshuva' means, I did something wrong. You think Ruth did something wrong? Because she was born by the King of Moav? That's the way she was born! G-d sent her this way. Tshuva means something else. Tshuva means, that I'm connected to the Torah without knowing it. Tshuva means that I'm connected to every page of the Gemorrah. Do you know, even before I know the whole Shas, the whole Talmud, I have already cried over very page of the Gemorrah.

On one hand I have to know, `I know something.' And on the other hand, I have to know that `I know nothing' The master of not?knowing is Aharon HaCohen. Moshe Rabbenu is the Master of Knowing. What's the koach, the strength, of Aharon HaCohen? Coming to the Bais HaMikdash? Consoling the lowest Yiddele? He says, "I don't know anything. I did everything wrong my whole life. Look at me. I'm the same way. I don't know anything. I'm just beginning."

Why is David HaMelech the one who built the Bais HaMikdash? And why was it in Yerushalyim? If you remember, David HaMelech conquered Yerushalyim on Erev Shavuos. And Shavuos is not only the day of David HaMelech, it's the day of Yerushalyim. Of the Bais HaMikdash. Ah, the fiftieth day comes, David haMelech comes. Our holy mother Ruth.

The Teomim, the twins of Sivan, is Rachel and Leah. Basically, Rachel is Yosef haTzadik...he never did anything wrong. Leah is the mother of Meshiach. David HaMelech does everything wrong. When Rachel gave over the signs to Leah, you know what Leah gave over to Rachel? There is a Torah of Rachel and a Torah of Leah. Basically the Torah of Rachel is, I do everything right. There's a Torah which is so much deeper. There's a Torah which is not written down, you can't write it down. `B'chukosy Telechu'. `Walk in My ways.'

You know what's the deepest thing about `Counting The Omer'? If you miss one day, you can't fix it. Until Shavuos, until David HaMelech... I really don't know there is such a thing as doing Tshuva. You see, we are so accustomed in doing Tshuva, we don't even bother thinking about it. I'll do an average sin, I'll do Tshuva, right? The first thing a Jew has to learn is that you can't do Tshuva! On Pesach, when G-d makes a Jew out of me, it has to be clear to me, `You better watch out.' You know what a Blessing is? The Gemorah says, Blessing is only where you don't see anything. You know what this means? Basically the `Bet' and the `Aleph' are very close, because Aleph is, `I don't anything'. And the Bet, the Blessing, also begins where I don't see anything. I know nothing. So this Shabbos after Shavuos, after mamash putting together Rachel, Leah, Moshe, and David HaMelech, it's now Aharon and Moshe. Moshe Rabbenu is giving over to Aharon the secret of Blessing.

Chodesh Sivan is `Yisodosov U l'tselah HaMishkan', it's filling in all the holes. You know how many holes are between us and the world? It's heartbreaking. Sivan is mamash Ruth, who comes back to us in the name of the whole world, filling in all the holes between us and the world. And what's the Beis HaMikdash all about? "My house is a house of love and prayer for all peoples." Do you know what a hole is? It's there and it isn't there. It's empty and it's there. Basically my life has to be a hole. I have to know that I know nothing yet. So G-d has to guard this kind of hole. I don't see anything...I give up, there is nothing. But there's also everything. This is so thin, so delicate.

I heard a Torah from the Ponevicher Rav, that it says by Aharon next Shabbos, Aharon was so heartbroken because the Nasiim, the rebbes of each tribe, brought korbanot [offerings], and he didn't bring anything. So G-d said to him, "Yours lasts forever. Your light will burn forever."

The whole Tshuva movement has been spoiled. Because... before, the Tshuva movement was Aharon HaCohen's movement, `Behaaloscha Es HaNeros'. Looking for the great light. And then the establishment took over. And the first thing is, they make you feel guilty. What did you do before? Imagine that, when Ruth came to Boaz, Boaz had asked, `Who's your father?' The King of Moab?! You have spent your previous life as a Moabite?! Pshu! According to one of the Gemorrahs, Ruth was one of the most beautiful women. The second thing Boaz initiated is that when you see a person you say, `Hashem Imochem'. You greet people in the name of the Lord. You don't first ask them what they did yesterday. `Hashem Imochem' doesn't mean `G-d should be with you from now on'. It means, `Gd is with you all the time.'

In the Gemorah, Shavuos is called "Atseret". Keep it inside, don't let go it. And even if you are B'nei Gershon, even if for one reason or another you are driven out, don't ever think you are driven out. `Gam Hem', Mamash, you're always right there.