Tips & Chizuk from Rebbe Nachman's Sefer Hamidos

by GYE, Rebbe Nachman (See all authors)

  • Sexual lust can only be kept at bay by avoiding provocative sights and thoughts.
  • Do not enter into negotiations with your desires, for the elaboration of your thoughts, even directed at annulling the desires, will have the effect of reinforcing the desires, and they can overcome you.
  • Anyone who refrains from acting upon an opportunity to sin will have a miracle done for him.
  • One who wants to guard his sexual purity should always say the truth, and should also always do kindness for one from whom he does not expect repayment. (Note: this sounds exactly like the 12-Step program. Integrity and selflessness are the key!)
  • Sexual fantasies come as a result of the "Breaking of the Vessel of Kindness", and according to the degree of fallen sparks, so is the degree of the sexual fantasies. (Note: I'd like to propose that this means that our desires often stem from the subconscious yearning of our holy souls to be "givers". But since we are in a lowly world, our souls misinterpret the signals and the vessels of kindness are broken and perceived by our minds as lustful thoughts. It therefore follows, that those who have strong desires really have lofty souls. They simply need to work on reconnecting to the true source of their soul's desire for kindness and divine connection).
  • A repair for spilling seed inappropriately is to make efforts to bring people to repent. (Note: Midah Kineged Midah. Also Step 12 of the 12 Steps)
  • One who guards his sexual purity, even if he does not have ancestral merit, G-d grants him merit.
  • Through sexual immorality, one looses his sense of shame.
  • When one commits a sin, he later regrets it due to the divine spark within him. But when one commits a sexual sin he does not regret it, for the spark has already left him. (Note: Perhaps that is why the Zohar says that Teshuvah is impossible for the sin of spilling seed in vain. Not because Hashem won't accept it, but rather because it is so hard to do!)
  • Through discord (Machlokes), one falls into sexual lust. (Note: Think R.I.D = Restlessness, Irritability & Discontent).
  • Through favors one does for others, sexual lust is annulled, and so the opposite. (Note: Perhaps that is why the 12-Steps emphasize so much the idea of becoming less selfish and more of a "giver").
  • Guarding sexual purity is the source of blessing.
  • One who shuts his eyes to avoid seeing evil is saved from humiliations.
  • One who does not look upon women, merits that his descendants will compile commentaries on the Torah.