the.guard (Yaakov)'s views on Homosexuality (in a nutshell):
Try to imagine a man who has no desire for single women, only married women had any appeal to him. This sounds crazy, right? But we can imagine such a thing. Having SSA is very similar. We must empathize with such people because they have struggles that most men can't even imagine. We must give them support and show them love and understanding.
- Having same-sex attraction (SSA) is not a sin.
- Acting on SSA desires is a sin
- It seems that some people are born gay and cannot be changed.
- Some people develop SSA due to external life factors and can change, i.e. through therapy, books, or on their own, they can learn to have normal straight desires.
- Some people develop SSA due to external life factors and still CANNOT learn to have normal straight desires (as some people claim is the case).
If you're struggling with SSA while you believe that such acts are a sin, then here's the good news, especially if you want to marry and, God willing, raise a family. Yes, you may be able to end this conflict and find peace in your life, at last. That's right.
But this blessing comes with a price. How much are you willing to let go of and sacrifice, to kiss good-bye to forever? How much do you really want to change? How much do you want to fulfill the potential God has in store for you? That's the catch. There's no secret magic pill to swallow.
Here at GYE, we deal daily with thousands of men -- and women, too -- who are headed in the right direction by following the advice we offer, and through the tools and support that's available here. If you can afford a therapist, which can be pricey, we'll give you the names of those who can help. But we'll also give you the tools if you want to go it alone, like walking sticks on a hike that brace you, give you stability, move you forward and encourage you to take more risks: handbooks, videos, podcasts, prayers, forums, incentives, and best of all, volunteers who have gone through what you're going through and who will listen and advise and act as friends to raise you up when you fall down low and drink a lechayim when you overcome what you seem to be losing control over.
Is the process easy? Well you know what they say: "No, Pain, No Gain." Right? But if you end up believing, as we all do here, that what's at stake is nothing less than the rest of your life and that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by trying, well, then, why not give change a chance and be"h become a new man?
And even if you fail and can't seem to change, we will help you learn to ACCEPT yourself as you are, with no shame. We'll give you support and tools to help you work on controlling illicit desires (just as any normal man needs to work on his desires for married women). And yes, even if you can't change your SSA, you can still get married and lead a normal life - with the right support and attitude.
So welcome aboard!