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Sober for over a year

GYE Corp. Thursday, 08 December 2011

I have been sexually sober for over a year and have not purposely viewed pornography of any kind in over something like 7 months. The usual progression for me usually starts on the street and goes to internet news sites, which then goes to lust type of news, and from there it's a pretty quick trip to the real garbage and emotional and spiritual devastation. Not a pretty sight.

Eventually I saw how powerless I was over this cycle and joined SA which has been the most transforming emotional experience of my life. Having a fellowship of friends to turn to for support when the going gets rough is invaluable.

Although my wife and I are currently doing very well in our marriage, boruch Hashem, she feels that she currently needs space in the area of sex and it is very challenging for me.

What has helped me not only get through this, but grow in the process, is:

1) Journaling my feelings as needed, sometimes daily basis.

2) Meditation for at least 5-10 minutes in the morning.

3) Prayer - for freedom from lust, humility to accept God's will as expressed through those around me, especially my wife and children.

4) Surrender of any expectation of sex - EVER. Of course I don't really think this will last forever, I know that is not what my wife wants. But for myself, I have to be OK without it.

5) Vigilant custody of my eyes on the street. I have taken to removing my glasses when walking about NYC where there is really a lot of flesh on display all the time - it is working wonders.

6) Reading and re-reading and re-reading again the book "The Garden of Peace" - AMAZING!!! This book has been a real game changer for me. You can get it from Feldheim Publishers and I would strongly encourage you to read it.