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Nothing seems to help

GYE Corp. Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Jack writes to ShomerAyin:

Dear ShomerAyin,

I feel your pain and frustration because I've been there. It's true, nothing seems to help. But group support really does help. And there is one more thing you need: brute strength. But you can't do it alone, no matter how strong you are. This thing is too powerful. Get a strong sponsor and call HIM every time you want to act out. Do whatever you have to do, but by all means, DON'T act out!

You mentioned that you are lonely and bored. These are two traps to watch out for. You have to deal with these issues somehow. Maybe see the Kosher Isle of the website for some ideas.

Also, the "90 days" is like taking antibiotics - you cant skip a day because the antibiotics have to be present in the blood for the medication to take effect. Similarly here, a slip AFTER the 90 days is A LOT DIFFERENT from a slip DURING the 90 days (as long as it does not lead back into the addictive cycle, which it can do if you let it). So, the 90 days have to be just that: 90 days straight with ABSOLUTELY NO SLIPS, in order for the 90 day rule to work [Jack is referring to a scientific study that found that it takes 90 days to change an addictive pattern].

Here are some techniques: If you know how, try to meditate. Or go to to a stream and scream loud, where no one can hear you. You have to get the anxiety out of your system in a healthy way. Hit your bed with a tennis racket - but don't act out - it will do nothing for you! It'll only pull you back into that vicious cycle.

You have to go through this for 90 days STRAIGHT! It can be torture, believe me, I know. But you have to do it, for your sake, for your friends' sake, your wife's sake, your children's sake, and for G-d's sake. You are helping only you, you must do it!

You admit you have a problem - and that is the first step. Now, grab the bull by the horns, be mechazek yourself, and you will see the rewards are well worth it.

I wish you the best of the best.