Home without a Filter? Be Honest.

The unfiltered internet at home is a major struggle. What should I do?

by Elya, GYE (See all authors)

"I am 22 years old and have struggled with being shomer habris ever since I can remember. I am going to be living at home for the summer where there is unfiltered internet access. I already am slipping more. I do not feel comfortable asking my parents to install a filter. I've gone a month or two clean in the past, but not more. I feel bad now, but a day or two after a fall, I always push the thoughts of how bad it is out of my head."

We responded:

Have your parents listen to this shiur from Rav Yosef Viener - and then ask them! :-)

Elya, moderator of a GYE Conference Call, responded:

I recently received a private email from a 17 year old living at home who had put hundreds of dollars on his parents credit card talking on sex phone lines. He was in Israel at the time, and when he got home to the US his parents asked him about it. He told them he knew nothing about it.

He wrote asking me if he should continue to lie or tell his parents the truth. I told him that life was short and if he truly wanted to get into Shidduchim and start his life off right, he couldn't live a lie the rest of his life. I told him exactly what to say to his parents - to tell them the truth. He wrote me after Shabbos and said he told his parents and they were very happy he did. If you Chas V'Sholom had a serious illness, would you hide it from your parents?

This disease can kill us if we let it go too far. If your parents have the password and you don't, they can use the internet unfiltered and you'll have it filtered. It's as simple as that. All you have to say is you don't want the opportunity of pushing the wrong button and seeing those sites, so you'd like their help. If they say, NO, then maybe you need to put the password on for THEM . Seriously if you truly want to stop, take the first step.