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Hashem fights through man

How do I prevent myself from becoming triggered by stimulating sights/thoughts?

GYE Corp. Sunday, 25 March 2012

Someone posted a great question on the forum:

I AM WONDERING IF THERE IS ANYTHING ONE CAN DO NOT TO GET STIMULATED FROM TRIGGERING SIGHTS OR SITUATIONS? I AM NOT LOOKING FOR NISYONOS RATHER I AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY HOW TO CONTROL MY MIND AFTER I SEE SOMETHING THAT BOTHERS/EXCITES ME, SO THAT I DON'T CONTINUE LOOKING OR TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL?


Dov answers:

Here are a few things I do, sometimes one and at other times another, sometimes more than one:

* I always mutter "Hashem/Tatty help!". He knows what I need and how to help me; then I ask Him to help me move on to whatever it is that I was supposed to be doing when I got distracted by the goofy idea.

* I immediately daven for the person involved, in a direct and clear way, for their benefit, not mine (then move on).

* I ask Hashem ASAP, that whatever it is that I am truly seeking from that person/act, let me find it in You (then move on).

* I get out of dodge (leave the area) - sometimes that is all I need to do - a change of venue.

* I make a phone call to any of the 15 people I can call, and I tell them exactly what it is I feel like doing (get the secret out).

* I think through what the end result of what I am wanting would be, i.e. what would I do after it'd be over? Usually that's quite sobering and helps me let go for a minute - long enough to get back to whatever it is that I should have been doing in the first place.

* In general, I try to work the 12-steps honestly and humbly, so my life is less painful, maybe even pleasant, and these desires are less attractive to me on a gut level (not intellectually, this isn't about intellect).

For me, the most important thing is to never take credit for "beating" the Yetzer Hara. It is always Hashem deflecting it from me. I am not on this world to fight the Yetzer Hara, proof of that is my dismal failure in the endeavor for 15-plus years. As we say every day in Az Yashir: "Hashem Ish Milchama - Hashem is the man of war" - only Hashem.

P.S. I also remember that no matter how sick, weird, or extreme the desire is, I never let myself feel bad about it, as I know I am an addict and that is what addicts do - they have these hardwired problems. But I have not had to act out on them in 11 years as the result of Hashems 100% help. I have been helped by the 12-Step program as well as the people in the program, and I have learned how to take off the boxing gloves and simply get out of the Yetzer Hara's way.

 

Just a quick reflection on the Pasuk that Dov quoted: "Hashem Ish Milchama - Hashem is the man of war". It occurred to me, why does it say "Hashem Ish Milchama"? Is Hashem a man? Shouldn't it say "Hashem oseh Milchama - Hashem makes war" or something like that? But I think that with Dov's explanation, it makes sense. Perhaps the Pasuk means to say that Hashem fights through man. As soon as we realize we can't do it alone and we give over the fight to Hashem, Hashem fights through us.