Conduct in Public Places
Since I have subscribed, I tried to fight against my Yetzer HaRa, and it had been a brutal war. Baruch HaShem, my cellphone is "calm." But the problem is the women in the streets. I cannot think of anything good, and sometimes, I don't feel G-d around me. If there was any way to help me...
Thank you for helping me in this struggle. Blessings of HaShem upon you.
here are some suggestions from GYE members about conduct on the streets:
"Count the Diamonds!
"One trick that I have found helpful with the challenges of seeing improper and immodest sights in the street is making it into a game in my head. That is, I count the times that I need to look away in my head. In other words, when I notice something improper/problematic and look away, I say to myself “that’s one.” A moment later there’s another need to look down, or away – “that’s two.” Then someone is walking by and the Yetzer Hora says “maybe take a good look to see if it’s someone improperly dressed that you should look away from!!….”(don’t fall for that trick) and hopefully I don’t even look to begin with – “that’s three.” A bus passes by with a horrific ad – “that’s four.”
"Then at the end – I’ve reached 12 or 25 or 100 or whatever and mark it down and reward myself when I get to a certain goal.
"Here’s why I think it helps: The power of NOT LOOKING is something special and holy (even though it often doesn’t feel holy at all – you’re left with that image in your head and lusting emotion – but we know it IS something VERY special. It’s been shared on the GYE emails that it’s brought that after looking away it’s an “Eis Ratzon” an opportune time to daven for something, based on the power of that moment of NOT LOOKING. We’re told that “There’s no greater Mitzva than avoiding a sin!”(Gemara in Kiddushin), which means by NOT LOOKING you just did one of the greatest Mitzvos! Literally!
"If so, how can I not count how many SUPER Mitzvos I did on the way home? That’s 5…That’s 6…..That’s 25…. Imagine giving Tzedaka or doing a super special Chesed 25 times in one day, and maybe in just one trip! What an accomplishment! And this is in a way even greater….so, make a goal and then celebrate those Mitzvos!!
"I believe that the reason this is so helpful is that it reframes the challenge from ‘no’ and ‘no’ and ‘don’t look’ and ‘don’t do an aveira,’ which is hard and negative and feels like ‘missing out’ to something positive and energetic. Each ‘no’ is really a ‘yes’ – “that’s another one”, “and that’s another one! Now I’m up to 54!” Each time one looks away is a ticket to greater Divine assistance, greater Kedusha, greater growth. Yes, it’s so hard because naturally it doesn’t feel that way – but by counting up and programming ourselves to view each ‘looking away’ as a powerful step UP of Kedusha & growth, suddenly the day or the trip etc. is suddenly filled with opportunities for such powerful Mitzvos and Zechusim and growth!"