Sunday, 05 November 2017

What helped me in my struggle

By Daniel

by GYE Member (See all authors)

Realizing my biggest issue was probably self-esteem was monumental. As a human being and definitely as a Jew, one shouldn't waste their potential. Wasting seed and time over computerized false garbage is a sign of not admiring myself, and not realizing my potential. Things that worked for me were spending that same energy spent on shmutz instead on reading amazing things on philosophy, psychology, learning Torah, mussar. GYE, of course, is an amazing resource that I've barely even tapped into yet.

Again, really, integrity, the patience to be introspective and say what's going on with compassion to one's self. To understand that even our yetzer hara, even though he's pulling us to waste our potential and live just for the body, he's doing that on Hashem's command. Thus really being unafraid to be open and honest with Hashem and say "Hashem I need your help. I've been a fool going down this dark and lonely path wasting energy and potential. As a Jew, I'm supposed to be lighting up the world with truth and I'm doing the opposite".

Really recognizing Hashem helps those who ask for it, is monumental. Seek truth with wonder and unstoppable effort. Realize there is something to gain and learn from our addiction, no matter how much we have fallen. More importantly, to realize we are not our past, nor are we a predetermined future. We are just here and now, breathing. So be honest. Do you really want to grow and move on from the illusion of porn and the false return of pleasure from wasting seed? Are we actually going to man up and do everything in our power to seek help and truth in how to grow up and be responsible for our actions?

These are all factors that with Hashem's blessing have helped me.