The past year has been different than most of the years of my life until now. Greater awareness, hope, a shared struggle, a glimpse of some truly precious neshomos who populate GYE, a feeling of belonging to a group of truly good people, an entirely new perspective on relating to the RBS"O. With much deep gratitude to Hashem Who has bestowed His kindness on me and has kept and protected me for the past year and drawn me along His path to grow and live in a truer way, part of that being keeping a distance from lust, both online and off.
Please Hashem, continue to shower me with kindness and protection and guide me and lead me along the path of growth and true living.
Being clean in practical terms sometimes means only that the options and factors needed for a fall just weren't in place, and while that is precious and good, it is not the final solution we seek. What we seek is a change of attitude, coupled with a change of habits/behaviors. Inner change takes time, and time takes time... and effort... and perseverance. I pray that I never think I am done / fixed / all-better, but rather that I continuously grow and move up, becoming a better person, a true yid and to build a real relationship with Hashem.