Mazal Tov To "Jew-In-Pain" for over 100 days clean!
"JIP", as he is known for short, has had a very painful life. It started when he was molested at the age of nine. See his painful story on this page. Here is what "JIP" wrote when he reached 90 days clean:
90 days! I owe a thank you to everyone for helping me get here, but the biggest thank you, of course, goes to Rabbi Guard. I don't know of anyone in our generation who has created anything as powerful as Guardyoureyes.I am totally indebted to you.
I wouldn't have managed without the help of my fellow members, who gave me constant chizuk & advice. A special thanks to those who shared their personal experiences & those who were in touch with me offline. They gave their time and concern for a fellow Jew whom they don't know & most likely never will. That's real chesed shel emes. You didn't let me down in my darkest days - and there were many, days when I wished I'd never been born and was contemplating suicide.
When I first joined this site, I felt like a young child. I was overwhelmed by what was going on here and what was going on in my own world. Everything seemed so far away and foreign. After a while I changed my mind-set and started moving; asking questions, getting answers, arguing about this addiction. At first, I rejected the "addiction" label. Eventually I decided, "who cares what it's called; sickness, struggle, addiction or any other sweet name? Either way, it's a blockage in a person's mind, holding him back from himself and from growing closer to Hashem".
I would like to share a few things I learned, which might help others:
1. A strong filter is imperative. There is no way to overcome this with open access to all the dirt on the web.
2. We need a safe group of friends such as on GYE, where one may discuss, vent, ask or share with others who really understand and care.
3. Understand that this addiction is VERY harmful.Get out as soon as possible!
4. Feel yourself at rock bottom, and understand that you can no longer afford to fail. Believe that you can do it!
5. Honestly analyze yourself and realize that this may require outside help such as a therapist, an understanding rabbi, an older friend, etc. In most cases, this behavior stems from some other problem within you that caused this addiction.
Guardyoureyes often mentions that it takes 90 days to break a habit. I am not sure how it works and I really don't care how it works; all I know is that it does. I now have only a very tiny urge to go back to the old bad stuff such as porn and masturbation. I no longer see it as "my problem solver" anymore, and I look back on all the years I was doing it with disgust.
Does it mean that I am never going to fall back? Not necessarily, but at least I now have the will to succeed. I know that in order not to fall, I need to keep my eyes and mind as clean as possible.
I have also learned over these three months that Hashem is in control. Turn to Him whenever you feel down. He doesn't charge, is within reach anytime and anywhere. All it takes are a few simple words from your heart. I cried to Him many times over this period and always felt much better afterward. Picture Hashem standing next to you, watching everything you do. And know that he is proud of you!