Living for the First Time
It is my greatest joy to log in from time to time and see so many new members joining this Milchemes Hashem. These past 5+ months have been much more than a relief from my horrible addiction. Thanks to everyone here at GYE, I have been living for the first time in my life. Life is infinitely more interesting when I am not obsessed with self-serving activities. Giving up my addiction to Hashem has been, for me, an opening to let Him in to my entire life. I feel His presence in my life, and I never want to go back to the other situation that I used to call life.
When I began this journey, one of the things that scared me the most was the idea that I would have to work on staying in recovery every day for the rest of my life. I mean, as an addict, all I wanted to do was get as far away from the garbage and become a normal, self-serving non-addict. But after tasting the sweet feeling of living with the purpose of doing Hashem's will, I actually look forward to the opportunity to work on living this way every day of my life. Some days are easier, some are harder, sometimes I don't remember Hashem as I should, but every day has a purpose and a reason for living. What a sweet feeling!