Thursday, 09 February 2012

It took over 20 years to find you!

by Avraham (See all authors)

There are no words to thank you, whoever you are. When I discovered your site (the details of how I discovered it are blurry, which is puzzling altogether) my life was changed. It was emotional at first when I realized that I was part of a group and not alone anymore. When that initial emotion wore off, I fell. I was not disappointed or depressed, rather I expected it to happen. But now, now I'm proud to say it's an emotional and intellectual realization of freedom from the yetzer horah. I know he'll be back doing an honest day's work trying to ambush me and make me fall. So when I feel like I'm slipping, I imagine that I'm literally standing in a circle holding hands with all the others here, and if I let go, everyone is pulling me back into the circle of closeness to Hashem where my neshama really wants to be.

One turning point was the 90 day chart which works tremendously for me. At the time of this writing I have accomplished two weeks which is a pretty good feeling, since even if I have a fall, at least I have a plan now. At least I have direction now.

Another turning point is that now that I have a realization that I'm not the only one looking at shmutz, I felt comfortable reaching out and picking up the phone and making myself an appointment (by a therapist).

It took over 20 years to find you. I tried every Tachbulah that came my way. but I'm glad you and you're community are part of my journey/life!

Avraham