Grown-Up Sense of Awareness
So I was learning Chovos Halevovos last night and Rabeinu Bachya talks about the chesbon a person has to make regarding the wonders of creation; the ones we take for granted because they are so common, but that are nonetheless no less amazing. Says the C"H that just because they are common doesn't mean we don't have to appreciate them daily. Moreover, he points out that as we get older we have a responsibility --- because we are wiser --- to appreciate them more. Now we have a greater understanding as to how amazing they truly are.
I believe the Chovos Halevovos makes a similar observation with respect to tefillah. Most of us learn how to daven as kids. As a result, we are still davening as if we were kids. But we are not kids anymore we are adults. And we have to start re-evaluating what it is we were doing and daven as if we are adults. We know that we have the ability to speak to the creator of the world directly on a constant basis. It's mind-boggling when you think about it seriously.
So anyway, what does this have to do with GYE? I thought to myself, you know I'm not a GYE newbie anymore, today is about 8 months. I learned a lot since I came here. About my addiction, about sobriety, about living life. So first I got to appreciate it with an increased grown-up sense of awareness, I got to also take stock of what I've learned and ask myself if I am making the most of the tools that I've been given now, based on the increased knowledge I now have.
So THANK YOU Hashem, Guard, Dov and everyone else who makes this site so wonderful, who have helped give me a new lease on life, who have given me the opportunity to get out of isolation, who have given me the opportunity to help others with this struggle. I LOVE THIS PLACE.