Fell on My Face. Can't Get Too Cozy!
After being sober for almost a year and just falling recently again, I want to share what I think the main point in our struggle is.
I have no doubt that one of the main reasons I fell is because I got comfortable in this struggle. Not only did I get comfortable, I WANTED TO FORGET THAT I HAVE SUCH A STRUGGLE AT ALL. "I AM A NORMAL PERSON, I CAN LOOK JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE CAN." This is the biggest problem of all, in my experience.
My dear brothers and sisters! I can't say that this is true for everyone, but I am sure that many can relate: we have to start living one day at a time and begging Hashem to remove this from us even 1000 times a day; we cannot get cozy!!!
If we start thanking Hashem for this struggle and start smiling again and believe that this is the best thing for us - even though, we can't see how - we will be able to continue on and be truly alive everyday; if not, we will just wilt away and give up our true job.
Let us accept this holy job that Hashem has given us and let's do His will and not ours, because ultimately our will has screwed us again and again.
I hope to share again with better news.